Daddy, Are You a Vampire?
by Sweet-KRAZY.03
Summary: AU Anakin tells Luke and Leia about his 'little secret.'
1. Prologue : The Twins of DOOM!

**Daddy, Are You a Vampire?**

**by: .Sweet-Krazy.03.**

**Summary: AU Anakin tells Luke and Leia about his 'little secret.'**

**Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Luke, Leia**

**Genre: Humor/Horror**

**Rating: T for mild violence and minor language**

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.**

**A/N: HAPPY 1ST DAY OF AUGUST! This piece is my 1st Star Wars fic. Oddly enough, it was inspired by watching the music video for 'Everybody (Backstreet's Back!)' by the Backstreet Boys. I was randomly watching it on one of my cousins' CD's and the idea just came to me. Hoping everyone will enjoy...**

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**Prologue: Twins of DOOM!**

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"DADDY!"

"Muh?" Anakin mumbled in his sleep. He rolled up against Padme and pushed her to the edge of the bed. All it took was one little movement from Padme to send her overboard. Ironically, just as she was about to hit floor, Anakin stuck his hand out and levitated her to his side of the bed so she wouldn't fall off again. Still asleep, Anakin used the Force to place her arm around his neck.

Two minutes later, his neck started to get warm so he used the Force to remove Padme's arm. He turned over on his chest and placed his arm around Padme. Then, he started to feel a bit lonely, so he used the Force to place Padme's arm back around his neck.

It was all going great for a few minutes, but then Anakin started to feel hot again, so with a flick of his index finger, Padme's arm went flying up. Unfortunately, it came down with twice as much force on his rear-end.

SMACK!

Anakin snorted and started to choke. He moved Padme's arm with his fleshyhand and massaged his throat with the mechanical hand. Unconsciously, he turned away from Padme and rolled right off the bed.

THUD!

There was a brief period of silence before the sound of loud snoring filled the air. That was followed by the occasional coughs and snorts, but generally, peace had returned...

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"LEIA!" Anakin shrieked. He jumped up, wiped off the excess drool, grabbed his lightsaber, and bolted out the door.

He sprinted down the hallway like the 'Flash' and into the room on the left.

_SWOOSH!_ went the door as he entered the florescent pink room. The moment he was in, he froze.

"_L-Leia?_" The name barely left his mouth.

There, sitting up on her bed, was Leia Skywalker. But there was something different about her. It was _unnerving_, and it freaked Anakin out so much that he began to twitch randomly. Her long, auburn hair hung loosely past her shoulders, and her face looked as if it had paled a few tones. The moonlight seeped in through the window and illuminated her skin to give it a milky texture. Her lips had turned a sickening blue that gave Anakin a head-ache. The color of her eyes also looked a few shades darker. They almost seemed black, and hollow. As if there was no life in her...

Anakin shuddered at the thought and waved it off. He didn't believe there was anything in the galaxy that could ever bring down his daughter.

_Then, what happened?_

Leia looked anything, but human. Her features, even her aura seemed to resemble that of a phantom. This _ghost _couldn't possibly be his daughter, could it? His daughter was a headstrong young lady, so much like Padme in her teenage years. Heck, she could be Queen, _Chancellor_ if she wanted to. Was this fragile shell that resembled Leia really his own daughter?

Anakin dropped his lightsaber and slowly advanced towards Leia. He took his place by her bedside.

"Leia?... Princess?" He whispered comfortingly. Still, no response.

There was an eerie quiet that filled the atmosphere. It shrouded the room like fire. It was becoming quite intoxicating. Whatever had possessed Leia was still a mystery, and he couldn't sense it.

That was the thing though. If there was a disturbance in the force, surely, he would've felt it? Especially, something so... scary like this. It puzzled Anakin. If he couldn't sense it, then this unknown threat truly was a threat to Leia... and Luke and Padme. He needed to figure out what was going on, and fast. His family was on the line, and he'd never forgive himself if anything should happen to them. _Especially, something that could be prevented._

Anakin studied Leia, and noticed her distant gaze. She appeared to be staring out at nothing in particular, but it could be anything. A poltergiest, perhaps? Again, it just didn't add up considering that this was THE Leia Skywalker. It took A _LOT_ to spook her.

Anakin couldn't help but crack a faint smile. He couldn't live without such an icon in his life.

"Please Leia... Tell me what's wrong..." Anakin pleaded softly. He reached out to touch her face when suddenly she snapped her head in his direction, causing him to flinch. Her gaze locked in with his and it sent spiders up and down his spine.

"Hello Daddy..." She whispered in a strange voice. It was hers, but so emotionless...

"Leia?" Anakin stared wide-eyed at his teenage daugher.

"Daddy...Sweet Daddy..." Leia replied in an almost hypnotic way. She slipped out from under the covers and closed in on her father. "Daddy..."

Anakin was growing more weary by the second. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face. He assumed a calm, very Jedi-like, fascade and fought the urge to panic at Leia's creepy-ness.

Meanwhile, Leia grew ever so close. She stopped abruptly and watched Anakin spaz slightly.

"Daddy, are you a vampire?"

Anakin's blood froze.

"N-N-NO! W-WHY DO Y-Y-YOU ASK!" Anakin stuttered insanely.

_Did she know?_

Leia chuckled deeply, in an almost Sith-like manner.

_Oh God no... Not the Sith again..._

"No reason..." She began. "It's just that--"

Leia pounced on Anakin and forced him back against the wall in one swift movement. She paused for about half a second before she caught him in a an embrace. Anakin's freak-out level was at an all-time high now.

"Daddy, can you keep a secret?" Leia whispered into his ear.

If he wasn't in such a situation, Anakin would've giggled because that tickled.

"O-Of c-c-c-course, p-p-p-prin-c-cess..." His stuttering grew worse.

Another long pause...

Leia shifted from the hug and studied his neck, running her finger along the veins. She blinked and made eye-contact with Anakin. The more he stared back, the more he felt like he was sinking into darkness. Then, the transition began, and her eyes turned a bright crimson color.

"M-m-m-m-m-mom-m-m-y..."

"I _am _one..." She whispered, but the words never made it to Anakin because of what came next...

Leia opened her mouth in a malicious grin, bearing her... **_fangs_**...

Anakin's eyes widened to the point where they looked anime. The freak-out meter had officially exploded! PANIC NOW!

Leia made her way to his neck, but Anakin was faster. He took his hand and levitated Leia. A look of surprise broke out on her face.

"I'm so sorry, Leia... Please don't tell you're mom..." He said on the verge of a breakdown. Then, in one quick gesture he threw Leia against the wall to his left.

THUNK!

She slid to the floor, unconscious, giving Anakin the chance to go get Padme. This wasn't something that he could handle by himself. He grabbed his lightsaber on the way out and ran like a madman back to his room. He almost wanted to scream, but he feared that he might wake Luke in the process. He wanted to keep at least one sane person in the house. It would involve months of therapy before Anakin could finially get over whatever had just taken place between him and Leia.

_At least she isn't a Sith Lord..._ Anakin smiled weakly, but it faded when a stray thought hit him. _What if there are Sith **vampires**! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! _Anakin quickened his pace. Time was running out...

It'd be morning soon, and maybe Padme could make some of her special bacon for him with the whipped cream and gummy bears and--

"OOF!" all of a sudden, he tripped over something, and fell a centimeter short of the stairs. Anakin groaned and stared down at the fall he had just avoided.

_The Will of the Force is very questionable..._

He turned around and looked at what he'd tripped over. It was a person. Leaning over the body, Anakin closely examined it.

_Unkept, shaggy, blond hair..._

"LUKE!" Anakin shrieked, grabbing patches of his own hair. He knelt down beside him and pulled the poor boy onto his lap. He moved the stray bangs that hung over his face. His skin was so pale, much like Leia's; his body was so limp, and motionless.

"SPEAK TO ME, MY LIMP AND MOTIONLESS SON!" Anakin yelled in Luke's face, spit flying everywhere. He shook him, and I mean he _SHOOK_ him! He shook Luke horizontally, vertically, upside down, diagonally, at a fifteen-degree angle. Heck, he even made an origami boat out of the lad. Anakin shook him to the point when all of the credits and fake-ID's came out of Luke's pockets. Anakin shook him to the point when all of the credits and fake-ID's came out of _his own_ pockets.

Still no Luke.

Anakin refused to give up, but eventually he became tired and placed Luke down. He stared at his son and exhaled. So much for sane. That was when he noticed the peculiar markings on his son's neck. He looked closer and saw two simple _bite marks_... _Leia_... She was the one that did this to him. She had bitten him. Luke's own flesh and blood, _his own flesh and blood_, had done such a monstrous deed...

_She's possessed..._

The Jedi Master was at a loss for words like so many other times that night. But could you blame him? Such frightening revelations, such twists in his story. Leia was a Sith vampire and Luke was her first victim. No. What if there were others to fall, before Luke? How long had this been going on for?

"Oh Leia..." he began to stroke Luke's hair. Oh, how peaceful he looked in his eternal slumber. It just broke Anakin's heart. His gaze went to Luke's closed eyes. He didn't even get a last chance to stare into those bright, blue eyes, a reflection of his own.

And then Luke's eyes shot open.

Anakin had the biggest spaz-attack in the galaxy. His heart had almost come up through his mouth.

"L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-LU-LU-LU-LUKE!" Anakin's stuttering was completely out of control. He sounded like a boom-box. He leaned in to make sure he wasn't dreaming, and then he blinked a couple of times. Those blue eyes... so dark, and hollow... so... emotionless... so... _bloodshot?_

"Boo." Luke said showing off his new fangs.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Anakin screamed in a way that was a little too feminine for his liking. He fell back-- which just happened to be where the stairs were --.

THUNK! **THUMP!** -- "OW!" -- BING! _BONG! BING!_ BING! CHANDLER BING! THUD! **THUNK!** "SWEET MOTHER OF--" THUMP!BANG! BONG! THUMP! _THUD!_ "HOLY SI--" **_SLAM!_**

Anakin layed motionless at the bottom of the steps. His mechanical arm was bent in a rather uncomfortable way. There was a vicious bump on the top of his head that would take months to heal. Other than that, everything was pretty much cool.

_The Will of the Force is VERY questionable..._

"They _told _me that attachment was forbidden. Now I see what it leads to... uugh... pain in the-" Anakin mused, but he was interrupted.

_CREAK!_

He looked up at the peak of the stairs and saw Luke and Leia standing there like zombies. Both of their expressions appeared so heartless, and Anakin was so freaked out that not even the word 'metaphor' could emphasize it enough.

"Salutations Daddy..." They both replied in unity. Anakin raised an eyebrow.

_Salutations?_ _Who the heck still uses **that **word anymore?_

Suddenly, he noticed the 'Twins of Doom' coming down the stairs towards him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in that feminine way again as he made his way to the kitchen. He ran in and grabbed the nearest pot. He turned to face the door, and as if right on cue, the twins walked in. They creeped towards him and it looked as if they were gliding. It was so graceful.

"Jeez, I know that thirteen's a difficult age, but this is ridiculous." Anakin stated. He saw how close they were getting, and the tension was rising. "Ok, guys if you come any closer, I'll have to ground you." Anakin thought about the last threat. "Well, you're kinda already grounded... Let's see... Leia, no more dating for you, and Luke... well... A-HA! No more sneaking into nightclubs! And don't you dare give me that look mister! I saw those fake-ID's! Oh, you guys are in for it... BWAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha --I kid you not."

By now, Luke and Leia were already within a meter of Anakin. They revealed their sharp fangs like a pack of hungry wolves.

"I'm w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-warn-n-n-n-n-n-i-ing Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU!" Anakin stuttered and shook the pot 'threateningly.' But the tides turned in favor of the twins. The pot that Anakin was holding suddenly dissolved away into atoms in his grasp. Anakin stared at the empty space in his hand in awe.

"Well, now I've seen everything..." he replied before he looked up and met Luke's eyes. "GYAH! How'd you get so close, son!" Then he looked at the fangs and went sheet-white.

"This won't hurt a bit..." Leia replied.

"PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!" Anakin yelled at the top of his lungs. He dove under Luke's arm and ran past Leia. He took a quick glance back and saw the twins following.

"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER DADDY!" Luke yelled.

"YES I CAN!" Anakin yelled back before flipping over the dinner table and into the living area. He found a nice little lamp, and decided to hide behind it.

_Maybe I should tell them the truth about me... No. They're being possessed..._

He hid for what seemed like hours when Luke and Leia finially came in. They paced back and forth past the tiny little lamp a million times but for some odd reason, they failed to see Anakin.

"I don't think they'll find me here. I'm such a genius!" Anakin laughed to himself.

Just then, completely out of the blue, Anakin heard a voice.

"I can't believe I ever died and left Obi-Wan to deal with you. Clearly, he's taught you nothing."

Anakin looked behind the sofa and saw Qui-Gon Jinn sitting there. Except he looked sort of transluscent.

"Actually, he taught me everything he knew." Anakin replied as-a-matter-of-factly. He completely ignored the fact that Qui-Gon was dead.

"Oh, well it's great to know that, considering how you turned out..." Qui-Gon scoffed.

"Yep!" Anakin beamed.

"Did you not catch my hint of sarcasm, or is that too complicated for you?"

"Oh... I see how it is..." Anakin moped. "You're just like everybody else Qui-Gon, so screw you!" He took the lamp and threw it at the strange apparition. It went right through him.

"WHAT THE-- how can you-- Oh my--" Anakin blinked and suddenly Qui-Gon was in his face, breathing. Yet, he felt no breath on his face...

"Hello Anakin."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"LOOK, LEIA! THERE HE IS!"

"After all this time... Man, he's a good hider..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Anakin raced out the back door into the backyard. Morning was taking over the night by now, but there were gray clouds covering the entire sky. It looked like a storm was coming later on. Anakin ran into the garden. The entire pathway was filled with large, odd-shaped stones. It was obvious that they had been placed there on purpose so he'd trip. Well guess what? Anakin went and did a nice little flip as he tripped over a particularly large stone.

"The bacon had better be extra good today to even make up for _half _of this!" he looked up with a mouthful of dirt. A TOMBSTONE!

_Padme failed to inform me that there are people actually BURIED our backyard..._

A small gasp left Anakin's lips. He looked back and saw Qui-Gon's spirit in one of the windows. He was laughing--no, he was GUFFAWING at him. He actually had the nerve to guffaw at him! WELL THEN! With that said, Anakin stuck out his tongue in a very immature way.

The Chosen One attempted to get up from the ground but something was preventing him. He looked down at his legs and caught sight of huge thorns and vines that had sprouted from the ground. They were intertwined around his legs and it didn't look like he was going to be going anywhere for a long time.

_Aw bantha poo-doo... _

As if things couldn't get any worse, hands sprung up from the ground and grabbed Anakin's face.

"AUGH!--Mmf--PH!" Anakin's hands shot to his face in an attempt to stop his suffocation. He was being smothered. He squirmed around, and a few spikes from the thorns got into his shins and calves. After seconds of struggling, he figured the more of a fight he put up, the harder it got to win. But Anakin was in a SERIOUS state of delirium and he wanted out! He took a hold of one of the mysterious hands and _bit _it. The creature paused long enough for Anakin to take a good look at it. He had thought that whatever was attacking him was probably the zombie of whoever was buried here. He was actually O.K. with it considering everything that had happened before. Though what he saw was most unexpected.

"OBI-WAN!"

_Padme SERIOUSLY failed to inform me that the body of my former master is buried in our backyard... and when did he die anyway?_

It was Obi-Wan alright, but he was covered in dirt, and his eyes were pure white like an eggshell. He made odd groaning sounds.

"Are you constipated?" Anakin asked.

Obi-Wan's hands grasped him again, but this time around the neck. Yet another way to cut of someone's air supply. Anakin fought to save himself once more but stopped when he saw two figures approaching him. Fear struck him hard, like a bully to a nerd.

_I REALLY don't need the twins on my case right now!_

The grasp around his throat tightened and Anakin's life began to flash before his eyes...

_I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.--_

The twins came and stopped in front of him. Anakin shut his eyes.

_I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die---_

If only he could've seen Padme one last time...

_I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna d--_

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN DADDY!"

Obi-Wan relesased his throat and Anakin opened his eyes. Confetti flew around them like the glitter in a snowglobe, and the fact that it was August left Anakin utterly confused.

"Padme, I want at least fourteen plates of bacon for breakfast..." he replied before passing out.

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**A/N: Ok, didja' like it? HUH! I wanna know! Reviews are most welcome and encouraged. Flames are not. If you didn't like it, don't waste your time (and mine) by writing about how much my fic sucked. It'll come back to hAuNt you... Anyway, the next chapter will be up within the next couple of days. I'll try to update a few times a week.**

**May the Force be with you.**

**xoxoxo -- .Sweet-Krazy.03.**


	2. Chappy 1 : Breakfast With a Dummy

**Daddy, Are You a Vampire?**

**by: .Sweet-Krazy.03.**

**Summary: AU Anakin tells Luke and Leia about his 'little secret.'**

**Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Luke, Leia**

**Genre: Humor/Horror**

**Rating: T for mild violence and minor language**

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.**

**A/N: I've been working on this entire chapter all friggin' week! Either it got too long, or I just wasn't satisfied. I'm so tired... But it was all worth it because...YAY! I got six reviews! Two faves! 205 hits!**

**Responses:**

**AJedistuckintheMatrix: Thanks infinity plus one for being the first reveiwer! I ran around my house like a mad-man screaming "YESH!" after I read it. Thanks for adding this to your faves! Btw, I love your username.**

**Iluvgeneralkenobi: Thanks for being the second reviewer! I freaked out when I read that you thought my story was 'awesome'! God bless ya' dude!**

**MissNaye: Thank you for being the third reviewer! YES! I'm glad I had you believing! That proves that the plot of the prologue served its purpose. It's always a pleasure to know that my readers are enjoying my stories.**

**Laura-chan: Thankees for being the fantastic fourth reviewer! WOW! I'm so siked that you think it's mad, crazy, _and_ funny! Those are the words that make my day! Dude, you fell off your chair! I must've had some really good material in the prologue for that to happen. Be careful next time! You're review was super-heartwarming! Thanks again!**

**Skywalking: Thank ya' for being the fifth reviewer! I'm glad you thought the prologue was funny! 14 plates of bacon is totally a lot. It was just a random number that was in my head at the time. Thanks for reading!**

**KrazywithaK: Thanks a bunch for being the sixth reviewer! The 'Happy Halloween!' line was 110 random, but I just had to add it in. This is nice for a first fic, isn't it? Mucho gracias for the complement! Actually, this _is _a multi-chapter story. I hope you like the rest of it! I'm gonna' have more multi-chappy fics up soon. You're very welcome for the review. Your story totally rocks and I can't wait until you update. May the Force be with you too!**

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**Chapter 1: Breakfast With a Dummy**

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_**CRACK!**_

A sickening sound filled the air as Anakin's head came into contact with the tombstone. He sort of rebounded off of it and fell into a nice little heap.

"Uh oh," Leia gasped. She went over to her father's unconscious form and leaned over him. She felt for his pulse and then stood up. "I don't think he's going to be awake for a while."

"Oh crap. This was NOT supposed to happen." Luke panicked.

"What's going on?" Obi-Wan inquired, removing the eggshells from his eyes. He dusted himself off and took his place beside Luke. All three of them stared down at Anakin's deformed body. He had at least twelve bruises from falling down the stairs and tripping over the rock, his legs were all torn up from the thorns and vines, his mechanical arm was bent in two places (which looked really gross), and he probably had a big-ass concussion too.

"That looks pretty bad," Obi-Wan commented.

"Hey, at least he didn't get all of his limbs lightsabered off and fall into a pit of hot lava, only to get burned alive and be forced to wear a heavy, black life-sustaining suit, that makes wierd breathing sounds like 'whoooooooooooo whooooooooooooooooo'." Luke randomly pointed out. The other two just stared at him blankly.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"You've been watching a little too many George Lucas holo-flicks," Leia replied.

"Yes," Obi-Wan agreed. "Now would anyone care to explain what in the name of Qui-Gon Jinn is going on?" he crossed his arms in a fatherly manner. "I thought we were doing a music video, not a prank on your father!"

Luke and Leia looked at each other and then at Obi-Wan. Finally, Luke came in for the save.

"You're quite mistaken Uncle Obi-Wan," Luke put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulder. "We ARE doing a music video. It's just that uh..." he began to sweat nervously when he couldn't think of anything to fill the gap.

"It's just that Dad's been having an awfully stressful week," Leia helped. Luke mouthed a quick 'thank you' before continuing.

"Yeah. Awful, awful, awful week," Luke nodded solemnly. "First, he found out that he left his lightsaber in the pocket of his trousers when he handed them to Threepio to have them cleaned. The soap and bleach caused a severe malfunction in the place where the... pretty blue light comes out of..."

"Right..." Obi-Wan cocked an eyebrow at Luke.

"Yep," Luke nodded reassuringly. "And then his mission to Hoth got cancelled. He was so depressed; it was his first mission in seven months," he pretended to wipe a tear. "Things got _really _bad when Mom bought Dad a--a--" Luke fizzled out again.

"A kilt," Leia whispered to him.

"A KILT! Yes! Mom bought Dad a--" Luke's head snapped towards Leia. "A kilt!" Leia just shrugged back. Luke turned back to Obi-Wan. "Yes. Mom bought Dad a kilt and that was it. That was the final straw for Dad. Poor man just couldn't take it anymore. He went nuts! He covered his lightsaber with red seran-wrap so it looked Sith. Technically, it looked purple, but who's asking?"

Obi-Wan gave him a quizzical look.

"_Anyway_," Luke continued. "He skipped dinner last night, and I found him in the basement drawing out plans for the 'Deathstar' or something. He even started wearing a black cape and calling himself 'Darth Vader.' And then he--"

"Going a little overboard there, Lukie," Leia cleared her throat.

"Oh," Luke blushed. "Sorry."

"Whatever," Leia looked at 'Uncle Obi-Wan'"What Luke here is trying to say is that when Dad saw us dressed up as vampires he totally freaked. We tried to calm him down but he ran away. He came outside and tripped over one of the stones and-- well, you know the rest."

"Yes," Obi-Wan nodded. The twins looked at him expectantly, wondering if he bought their story.

"Poor Anakin. It must be really hard on him." Obi-Wan stared at the wreck that was his former-padawan. Meanwhile, Luke and Leia let out a sigh of releif.

"Okay, I'm gonna' see if I can untangle his legs from the thorns," said Luke as he turned to walk around the body. Instead, he tripped over another vine and fell on top of Anakin.

_**SNAP!**_

"Uh, guys," Luke stared with wide-eyes. "I think I just..."

"It's going to take weeks to fix that arm now," Obi-Wan stated. He was gazing down at Anakin's mechanical arm, which was now bent in an 'O' shape.

"Aww man..." Luke moaned, sliding off his father's body.

Suddenly, Anakin started to cough, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. He blinked a couple of times before his eyes finally settled on Luke. His son hadn't removed the make-up yet so he still looked pale and lifeless.

"L-Luke?" Anakin mumbled softly.

"Dad, are you alright?" Luke asked, but something else grabbed Anakin's attention. He stared past Luke to something standing by the window. It was something misty. Anakin blinked away the rest of the bluriness and stared harder. His eyes widened to the size of saucers when he realized it was Qui-Gon.

_**CRACK!**_

His head hit the tombstone as he fainted again. The other three just stared.

"Maybe, we should move that tombstone..." Obi-Wan suggested. The twins simply nodded.

"ANAKIN! LUKE! LEIA!" Padme called from the kitchen window. "BREAKFAST IS READY!"

"Oh no," said Leia. "We can't let Mom see Dad like this."

"Why not?" Obi-Wan asked. "I think she should see him more than anybody."

The twins took a few seconds to think about how they were going to get out of this one. Luke came up with an idea, but Leia stopped him before he could speak. She clearly had more experience.

"Listen Uncle Obi-Wan," she began. "Mom's been having a tough week too. She just got a whole load of paperwork from the senate, and she hasn't had a lot of time to deal with it--"

"And Dad's always locking himself in the basement," Luke interrupted, "working on his evil plans for his 'empire.' and ordering his 'stormtrooper' action-figures to destroy all the Jedi, and--OW!" he cried out in pain as Leia elbowed him in the stomach.

Obi-Wan continued to listen, regardless of Luke's odd outbursts.

"_As I was saying_," she glared daggers at Luke. She looked back at Obi-Wan. "Mom doesn't have enough time to deal with her work because she has other duties at home, like cooking, cleaning, just basic household chores. The deadline for the paperwork is next week, but Mom's barely gotten past the first stack."

"I see," Obi-Wan nodded.

"So, please bear with us, Uncle Obi-Wan," Leia spoke softly. "If Mom we're to see Dad in this condition, she'd worry herself to death."

"Yes," Obi-Wan understood. "I'd assume she would, but what are we to do with your father's body in the meantime? We can't just leave him here. Your mother will start to get suspicious."

The trio stood around for a couple of seconds, thinking of a solution. Sometime during that period, Obi-Wan started to whistle a tune that sounded suspiciously like the theme from 'JEOPARDY.'

"Oooh!" Luke jumped up. "I have a totally awesome idea!"

"We're all going to die," Leia groaned.

"No, just hear me out," Luke motioned. "What if we used the Force and moved Dad around like a puppet! Obi-Wan could levitate him to keep him from slouching over, I could do the small movements, like moving his feet when he's walking, or moving his lips when he's talking, and Leia, you could imitate his voice. It's all genius!"

Leia and Obi-Wan stared, completely awe-struck, at Luke.

"I guess you're not as dimwitted as we thought," said Leia. "But why do _I _have to imitate his voice?"

"Because I said so," said Luke.

Leia glared at Luke. "I don't even _sound _like him."

"You're right," admitted Luke. "But Obi-Wan has a very noticable accent, and I don't wanna do it, so that leaves you."

"Grr," said Leia. "You are so lucky that I haven't been trained in the Force yet, or your ass would've been mine."

Luke stuck his tongue out.

"HURRY UP FAMILY!" Padme screamed from the kitchen. "THOSE WAFFLES AREN'T GOING TO EAT THEMSELVES-- though, that would be quite amusing... " she added.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Obi-Wan asked. "Let's execute 'Project Dummy!'"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Padme waited impatiently in at the breakfast table. She had put all of the food out, and even finished her first helping, but Anakin and the twins were still a no-show.

"Figures they'd sleep in..." she commented to herself before helping herself to more toast.

That was when Anakin entered the kitchen, followed by Luke, Obi-Wan, and Leia. They had given Anakin a pair of glasses that had eyes drawn on them to cover his closed ones. Luke was having a bit of trouble controlling the feet, so it appeared that Anakin was tripping over himself constantly.

Padme ignored this and went ahead with the scolding. "ABOUT TIME! Do you realise what time it is! DO YOU!"

Obi-Wan and the Twins flinched at the tone of her voice.

"Forget it," Padme nodded. She looked at Anakin's glasses "Why are you wearing those absurd glasses?" she waited for Anakin to answer.

"Psst, Leia," Luke hissed. "Say something!"

"Oh!" she blushed, having completely forgot her part in the plan. She cleared her throat and forced her voice an octave lower than her own.

"Uh... I-I-I wanted to take them for a test drive for Luke," she tried.

Padme looked at him wierdly. "Okay then..."

Then she noticed the fourth guest. "OBI-WAN! I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there. Please excuse me," she blushed. "Would you care to join us for breakfast?"

"I'd be honored," Obi-Wan bowed. He moved Anakin forward, but Luke dropped his guard for a second causing the legs to give away. In the end, Anakin ended up on the floor doing a side-ways split. Padme gasped. Obi-Wan and the twins froze.

"Well," Leia whispered to Luke. "It was a great idea for the time being..."

There was an awkward moment of silence before Padme started to giggle.

"Oh Annie!" she chuckled. "That's so sweet! But you don't have to impress me with your acrobatics."

The other three were sweating nervously.

"Ooookay..." said Luke. Obi-Wan took this time to lift Anakin back up. Leia pulled out a chair for her father and stood back for Obi-Wan to carefully place Anakin in it. Once they had him situated, they took their seats as well.

"Sweet!" exclaimed Luke as he helped himself to a load of bacon. Leia took two bagels and began spreading the grape jelly on them. Obi-Wan on the other hand, was having a hard time eating and keeping Anakin from falling over at the same time.

"So," Padme looked at the twins. "Why do you two have so much make-up on? Is it Halloween already?"

"Nope," Luke answered with a mouthful of fried piggy strips. "We were just making a music video for Leia's new single, 'I'm A Slutty Senator.'" Leia kicked Luke under the table. "OW!"

"It's actually called 'My Brother's A Porky Padawan,'" she smiled sweetly.

"Really?" Obi-Wan asked. "I thought it was called 'Feeding On Deception.' Isn't that why you chose the vampire theme?"

Luke and Leia narrowed their eyes viciously at him.

"N-not that it m-matters," he gulped.

"Of course it matters!" said Padme. "I had no idea my daughter could sing. No doubt she takes after her father."

The other three nearly choked. "HE CAN SING!" they all yelled in disbelief.

"Yes," said Padme. "Like an angel. Go ahead Annie. Sing us a lyric or two." she looked over at Anakin who was slightly hunched over. He was snoring softly.

"Annie, are you feeling okay?" Padme asked.

In response, Anakin started to drool, which recieved more odd looks from Padme. Obi-Wan quickly took a napkin and wiped Anakin's face.

"Sorry Mom," Leia shrugged. "Dad's just really tired."

"Oh," Padme nodded.

"Yeah," Luke added. "I bet it's from constantly having to check on his officials aboard the 'Executor,' and force-choking the--"

"LUKE!" Leia snapped. "What is it with you and imagining that Dad's 'Darth Vader?'"

"It's an unhealthy obsession... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Luke cackled.

Everyone stared at him.

"You never know..." he added mysteriously.

"I see," Padme blinked. "Who wants muffins?"

"YAY!" everyone cheered. Anakin continued to snore.

Padme got up to get a basket full of freshly baked muffins. She came back to the table and set them down in front of Obi-Wan. Suddenly, the older Jedi began to spaz.

"A-A-A-A-Are t-t-t-t-those b-b-blue-b-ber-r-r-ry m-m-muf-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-ins!" he stuttered almost as bad as Anakin had that morning. His face began to break out and swell.

"Yes, they are..." Padme looked worriedly at her friend.

"T-t-t-t-oo b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad-d-d I-I-I-I'm-m a-a-l-l-l-l-ler-g-g-gic--ACHOO!" he sneezed. In the process, he let go of Anakin's body.

_**SMACK!**_

Anakin's face smacked against his plate.

"ACHOO!" Obi-Wan attempted to lift Anakin's head up, but he sneezed again.

_**SMACK!**_

"What's happening?" Padme stared wide-eyed at her husband's face repeatedly smacking his plate.

"I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-so s-s-s-s-s-or-r-r-r-rry!" Obi-Wan pleaded as he tried to lift Anakin's head again, but failed when-- "ACHOOOO!"

_**SMACK!**_

Obi-Wan's face was getting horribly inflated. "M-m-move t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-the m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mu-u-u-u-uf-f-ffins--ACHOOOO!"

_**SMACK!**_

Luke and Leia watched with open mouths, as Obi-Wan tried to keep their father under control. Each time he tried, he failed miserably, and their father fell smack against his plate.

"ACHOO!"

_**SMACK!**_

"ACHOOOOOO!"

_**SMACK!**_

"ACHOOOO!"

_**SMACK!**_

"Oh my God!" Padme gasped. "Anakin! Obi-Wan!"

"MOM!" Leia screamed. "MOVE THE MUFFINS!"

Without thinking, Padme grabbed the basket of muffins and threw them out the window. Obi-Wan immediately calmed down and lifted Anakin up. The atmosphere became quiet, but then Anakin started snoring again.

"Whew," Luke sighed. "That was almost as bad as the time Darth Vader--"

"SHUT-UP LUKE!" Everyone yelled in unision.

"I was just saying," Luke shrugged.

By now, Obi-Wan was back to normal, but Anakin's condition was the exact opposite. His nose looked a little too red to be considered healthy, and it was bent rather strangely. His glasses were broken, but somehow managed to stay on his face. Padme went over to Anakin and examined the extent of the damage.

"Annie, are you alright?" she asked despite his snoring. Luke and Leia quickly jumped into action.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine," Leia said in the same masculine tone as Luke moved the mouth.

"Are you sure?" Padme inquired.

"Yes, I'm sure," Leia confirmed.

"Are you _absolutely _sure?" Padme pressed.

"Yes, I'm _absolutely _sure," Leia started to grow annoyed.

"Are you absolutely, _positively _sure?" Padme asked, just inches from Anakin's face.

"YES, I'm absolutely _positively _sure," Leia replied through gritted teeth.

"Are you absolutely, positively, ABSOLUTELY--"

"YES! I'M ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, _ABSOLUTELY_ SURE THAT I'M OKAY!" Leia roared.

"Jeez, don't have a cow Annie," Padme backed off. "I was just making sure."

"It's okay," Leia exhaled sharply. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you, Mo-- I mean Padme."

"Okay," Padme gave Anakin an odd look. "Don't you want to eat something, dear?"

"NO!" Leia said almost immediately.

"Are you sure?" Padme asked.

"Yes," said Leia.

"Are you absolutely--"

Leia took her plate and hit herself with it.

"Leia, what's wrong?" Padme asked her daughter.

"Oh nothing," she groaned in her normal voice.

The rest of breakfast with the Skywalker's pretty much went normally except for the fact that Anakin kept drooling on his tunic. Padme declared that she was going to go shopping with her mother and sister, and wouldn't be back for the whole day. Obi-Wan, Luke, and Leia silently celebrated their good fortune.

While Padme went upstairs to change, Obi-Wan and Luke released their hold on Anakin and flexed their hands. After a few minutes, they carried Anakin into one of the guestrooms.

"ANNIE!" Padme called from the stairs. "I NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU!"

"No!" Obi-Wan cried. "I am _not _going carry him all they way up the stairs!"

"No worries Uncle Obi-Wan," Luke assured. "We'll go and distract her." And with that, the twins took off towards their mother.

Obi-Wan decided that it'd be best for his poor hand if he put Anakin down on the bed. He walked past the window, but suddenly started twitching madly.

"T-t-there is a-a-a d-d-d-dist-t-t-tur-b-bance in t-t-the F-F-Force," he stuttered. He looked back out the window and saw his speeder rolling down the driveway.

"NOOOOOOO! I DON'T HAVE INSURANCE DAMNIT!" he shrieked like a banshee before letting go of Anakin, and running out the door to stop his run-away speeder.

_**THUD!**_

Anakin fell out the open window into a bunch of bushes.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**A/N: ( Insert BIG-ASS SIGH OF RELIEF here ) You don't know how good it feels to finally get that chapter done! I'm probably not gonna' update in a while, but hopefully I'll have the next chap up within the next week. Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**May the Force be with you.**

**xoxoxo .Sweet-Krazy.03.**


	3. Chappy 2 : Night of the Blood Sucka'

**Daddy, Are You a Vampire?**

**by: .Sweet-Krazy.03.**

**Summary: AU Anakin tells Luke and Leia about his 'little secret.'**

**Characters: Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, Luke, Leia**

**Genre: Humor/Horror**

**Rating: T for mild violence and minor language**

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.**

**A/N: YOU GUYS ARE BEYOND AWESOME! HUGS n' COOKIES FOR EVERYONE! YAY! I GOTS 8 REVIEWS! 3 FAVS! 3 STORY ALERTS! 544 HITS! ARE YOU GUYS KIDDING ME! THIS IS SO AWESOME! THANK YA' ALL!**

**Responses:**

**SapphireGreen - At least you weren't drinking milk while reading this. Thanks!**

**Laura-chan - Sorry bout' deh' Anakin bashing. I'm pretty sure that's the last of that. Nice ta' know I kept you laughing!**

**korrd - I love fics with Anakin raising the twins! They're so hearty. Here's your update!**

**KrazywithaK - That was one of my fave parts of last chap too! May the Force be with you as well!**

**randomidiot - I'm all about randomness, but this isn't really one of those fics. Sorry bout' that. But don't worry! I'll try and put stuff in! Thanks!**

**Neko Kuroban - Questions! Is Anakin going to wake up soon? I think you'll be pleased when you read the first sentence of this chappy! How long has Obi-Wan been driving around without insurance? Long enough for him to realise that he forgot to get some. Is Luke and Leia's attempt at distracting Padme going to work? We shall see! Thanks for the compliment! BEHOLD the second chap!**

**ANI'SGIRL - You're review totally rocked my sox WAY OFF! BOO-YAH!**

**loonypencil - I totally love it when people say my story 'rox'! Thanks so much!**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Chapter 2: Night of the Blood-Sucka'**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Aauggh--son-of-a--" Anakin groaned in pain as he regained consciousness. There was a huge throbbing pain at the back of his head, and it made him wince, double-time. He opened his eyes slowly, and saw white.

_It's THE LIGHT... Wait, I'm dying?... That sucks..._

"You're not dying, you moron," a voice said.

"W-w-w-who s-said t-t-that!" Anakin asked, still not competely over his stuttering phase. He started to blink rapidly, and his vision became clearer. There was a figure just inches from his face. For a second, he thought he was seeing things.

"Qui-Gon?" he asked like an innocent little boy from Tatooine, with blond hair, and big blue eyes.

"_No_, I'm a piece of bacon..." Qui-Gon replied.

"Seriously?" Anakin said in a seductive manner. He eyed Qui-Gon like a podracer to cheap parts. "Because, I sure like bacon..."

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-- Son, how stupid can you possibly get?" Qui-Gon noticed that Anakin was foaming at the mouth. "And don't even _THINK _about chewing my leg."

Anakin whimpered. "Why not?"

"Because I'm already dead, **_duh_**," Qui-Gon replied in a cool manner. The younger Jedi Master thought about this for a minute.

"So... that means you're a ghost?" Anakin asked.

"Pretty much, yeah," Qui-Gon nodded.

"I see," Anakin nodded back. "Will you excuse me for a moment?" he got up, brushed the twigs and bird nests from his hair, and ran down the road screaming bloody murder.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

_**CRASH!**_

Obi-Wan watched as his speeder rolled into an open manhole. How it was able to fit into the manhole in the first place was beyond him.

"Meh," Obi-Wan shrugged. "I never liked that speeder anyway..."

Suddenly, Anakin came screaming up to him like a crazy hobo.

"OBI-WAN! OBI-WAN!" he waved his arms around. "QUI-GON'S DEAD!"

The reddish-blondish haired Jedi stared at him. "You don't say..."

"I _DO_ SAY--I mean, HE'S A GHOST!" Anakin tried to rip out pieces of his hair. (But he really liked his hair.) So he ripped out Obi-Wan's.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!" Obi-Wan screamed.

"NO TIME!" Anakin turned tail and ran towards his house. "GOTTA' WARN THE FAMILY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!"

Obi-Wan ran after him. He had to calm him down before went and did something really stupid. He watched as Anakin ran up his drive-way and up to the front of his house. But instead of going through the door like all civilized people, he jumped through the window. Obi-Wan took his time and walked through the front door. He went over to the stairs and realized that he'd lost track of his former-Padawan. He began to make his way up the stairs, when he heard a scream that was unmistakably Anakin's coming from the living room.

Wasting no time, he ran into the living room and found Anakin sitting on the rug, rocking back and forth in a slightly paranoid way.

Anakin was mumbling to himself. "I'm a leprechaun...I'm married to a mermaid...We have two kids: one squirrel and one mollusk...my best friend is a MAD COW...we're a happy family..."

In front of him, the spirit of Qui-Gon Jinn was levitating in mid-air like the genie from 'ALADDIN.' Obi-Wan pointed an accusing finger at him.

"What-did-you-do?" he asked darkly.

"Nothing really, just gave him a 'Wet Willie' is all," he replied casually. "I've heard that it's extra cold when you recieve it from a ghost," he added.

"Arrgh! Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan threw his hands up in defeat. "This is _exactly _why I told you to stay in the speeder!"

Qui-Gon looked out the window and saw the cockpit of said-speeder barely sticking out from the manhole. "Riiiight..."

Obi-Wan sighed and crouched down beside Anakin.

"Anakin, you're going to be just fine. I mean, you might have a slight headache--"

**THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.**

"--a bunch of bruises and gashes on your shin--"

**THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.**

"--pay a few hundred credits for a new mechanical arm--"

**THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.**

"--little dizzy at first--"

**THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.**

"--Padme made bacon--"

"WHAHOO! BACON!" Anakin jumped up and ran into the kitchen.

"Man loves his bacon..." said Obi-Wan. He turned to Qui-Gon. "Just stay here, and try not scare the poor boy anymore," he begged.

"Fine, whatever," Qui-Gon waved him off.

Obi-Wan took his leave and went to the kitchen. When he entered, he saw a huge tower of bacon, covered with whipped cream, gummy bears, wasabi, soy sauce, duck sauce, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, ice cream, peanut butter, sprinkles, frosting, hot fudge, butter, sugar cookies, and a lot of other stuff you'd only find on the top of the Food Pyramid.

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan called out.

"Yhffmhmm?" Anakin replied with a mouthful from behind the 'masterpiece.'

"I'm sorry to _disturb _you, but--ARE YOU WEARING A BIB!" Obi-Wan's eyes widened.

"Oh," Anakin gulped down a chunk of marshmallows. "Padme always makes me wear one. You see, Threepio always tries to bleach the food stains off of my tunics, and they always come out with holes as big as that speeder-sucking manhole down the street."

Obi-Wan blinked. He decided to let Anakin eat, so once again, he left for the living room.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"So I can't talk to Anakin because he went to Mustafar to kill the Separatists?" Padme asked while accompanying the twins down the stairs.

Leia narrowed her eyes at Luke. "Of course not Mom," she resisted the urge to hit Luke over the head. "Dad told us to tell you that he went to take a morning stroll around the lake."

"He says it'll help bring the feeling back into his mechanical legs," Luke added, receiving a wierd look from his mother.

"You're not helping," Leia mumbled to him with a threatening glare.

Padme looked at them once they reached the bottom of the steps. "Okay children, I suppose I can talk to your father later. Besides, I'm getting late," She walked towards the door. "Tell Obi-Wan that he's welcome to stay as long as he likes. I don't want any misbehaving while I'm gone. Is that understood?"

"Don't worry Mom," said Leia. "We'll be good."

"I know you will, sweetheart," Padme kissed Leia on the forehead, and then Luke. "I probably won't be back for dinner. I've got a lot of shopping to do. Not to mention, I need to find a therapist for Luke."

"What!" Luke jumped back. "Why do I need a therapist?"

"Luke," Padme put both hands on his shoulders and made eye-contact. "It's not really easy for a mother to admit this to her own child, but son, you have issues."

"FINALLY!" Leia cried in relief. "You see the light!"

Luke gaped. "Bu-- wha-- Vader?"

"See?" Padme pointed out. "This little 'Darth Vader' obsession of yours is getting a bit out of hand. I'm afraid you might hurt yourself."

"Mu--guh--luh--Sith--" Luke was on the verge of a breakdown.

"The sooner we deal with this, the better off you'll be," Padme assured him. She gave him a hug and then walked out the door to her speeder.

"Bye Mommy!" Leia waved. Padme waved back from inside her speeder.

Luke faced the other way and pouted. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small 'Darth Vader' key-chain. "No one can take you away from me! NOBODY! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahHAHAHAHAHahahaHAHAHA... hmmm... maybe I _am _slightly obsessed...

The twins waited outside until they were sure that Padme was gone. As soon as she was, they ran back to the room where they had left their Dad. On the way, they bumped into Obi-Wan.

"Hey!" Leia greeted. "We got rid of Mom... Where's Dad?"

"Oh, he's in the kitchen filling up on his bacon," answered Obi-Wan.

"Cool," Luke nodded. "Man, I never thought Dad would get so stressed over our prank."

Leia glared at Luke. He cringed as if to say 'oops.'

Obi-Wan gasped. "YOU TOLD ME IT WAS A MUSIC VIDEO!"

"Yeah..." said Luke. "That's what I said, a music video."

"But you just said it was a prank," Obi-Wan retorted.

"You're hearing things Unc," Luke replied. "I clearly said 'music video,' right Leia?"

Leia nodded nervously.

"You evil little brats..." Obi-Wan grumbled. "You might be as cute as boogers when you're babies, but it's a whole different ball game when you're teenagers."

"Cute as boogers?" Leia asked.

"Oh shut-up."

"You're not gonna' tell Mom, are you?" Luke asked, furrowing his brow.

"I'm sorry children, but your mother has the right to know." Obi-Wan told them. He was such a role-model citizen. This was one of the main reasons why Luke and Leia egged his apartment every Halloween--and weekend...

"Please _Uncle _Obi-Wan? For _me_?" Leia batted her long eye-lashes that she had obviously inherited from her mother.

"That doesn't work on me."

"He desperately needs a girlfriend." Leia whispered to Luke.

"I'm going to ignore that and watch some of your holo-dramas now..." Obi-Wan glared at the twins.

They walked into the living room, and all afternoon they sat on their tushes and watched critically-acclaimed holo-dramas like 'Jack and Boba Fett' and 'CSI: Coruscant.' They were watching an old re-run of 'Desperate Huttwives' when Anakin finally decided to show up. He looked at Luke and Leia.

"Dad, we can expla--" Luke was cut off.

"I'm not even going to ask," he replied, before taking a seat in his Lazyboy armchair. "Even though my mind has been horribly traumatized and the fact that I almost wet myself, it's nothing a life-time's worth of therapy won't cure."

Luke and Leia blushed in guilt.

"Actually, when I was your age, I used to pull pranks on my master as well." he nodded to Obi-Wan who looked like he was reliving the past.

"Oh yeah... good days..." he shivered at the thought of waking up and finding something different in his hair each morning.

"Does your mother know about this?" Anakin asked.

"No..." Leia looked down.

"Goooooooooood," he grinned evilly. "I can tell her myself, and then you'll be G-R-OUNDED!"

Insert moment of awkward silence here.

"I ate a lightsaber once," Obi-Wan blurted out.

Insert another moment of _even more_ awkward silence here.

"And Mom says _I _have issues..." Luke whispered out of earshot.

"So Dad," Leia began. "Did you let Threepio have a look at your injuries?"

"What injuries?" Anakin asked.

"You know, the bumps, the bruises, the concussion, maybe?" answered Luke.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Anakin replied.

"But--" Leia went over to her father and examined him. She let out a small gasp. "Where did all of your cuts go!"

"Um..."

"This is really odd," Leia examined Anakin's legs again. His pants were slightly torn up from the thorns and vines but there weren't any cuts in the skin. "Maybe we should call Threepio in here."

"**_NO!_**" Anakin yelled, causing Obi-Wan to jump into Luke's arms.

"Dude, I'm straight." Luke said before he took a cro-bar and pried the sensitive man off him. Then he used the Force to bring a can of soda to his hand. Obi-Wan mumbled something under his breath before taking his seat back on the couch.

"I mean," said Anakin. "If I don't have any injuries right at the moment, then there's no need to get Threepio."

"But Dad--"

"No buts, Leia," Anakin interrupted. "I hafta' fix my arm."

For the first time, everyone in the room noticed Anakin's horribly deformed mechanical arm.

"Eww..." Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose. "How in the galaxy are you going to fix _that_?"

"Easy!" Anakin grinned again. "You just need turn that--"

_**CREAK!**_

"AUGH!" Obi-Wan and the twins groaned in disgust.

"--twist that around--"

_**SNAP!**_

"UUUGH!" they grimaced.

"--put that over--

_**CRACK!**_

By now, they had had enough, and the only thing left to do was--

"NOT ON THE BOOTS!" Anakin shrieked, but he was too late. The trio was on the ground puking their guts out.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

_**That night... MWHAHAHAHA...**_

It was about seven-thirty in the evening, and Anakin was still scrubbing the vomit off of his beautiful leather boots.

_Note to self: never, EVER fix arm in front of Obi-Wan and kids... Aww man, what did Luke eat for breakfast?... NOOO! IT'S STAINING!_

Anakin scrubbed harder, but it only resulted in more staining. He didn't notice Leia come into the room until she tapped him on the shoulder.

"Mom wants to talk to you," she said before leaving.

Anakin said a silent prayer for his boots, and walked into his office to where the holo-projector was. His stomach growled despite the fact that he'd had such a big breakfast. But he knew why...

_Need...blood..._

Seeing Padme on the holo made him forget everything. Even though Padme's form appeared in black and blue, she was beautiful to him, nonetheless. She was wearing an elegant, strapless night-gown that trailed behind her. It pressed against her in the middle, showing off all of her curves, and fanned out near the bottom. Arms-length gloves accompanied the exquisite dress. She had her hair in big bun on the top of her head and let a few bangs hang down decoratively on the sides. Around her neck was the necklace that he made for her, himself. It made her look complete and truly angelic. In other words, Padme looked drop-dead gorgeous and Anakin wanted to shag her senseless.

_She's looking so yummy right now..._

"Good evening milady," Anakin replied, bowing to her.

"Annie, you're such a gentleman!" Padme blushed. "I know a certain Jedi Master who's going to get a very special treat tonight..."

_SCORE!_

"Ooooh, I like your bidding," Anakin stood up. "So how is my beautiful wife doing this evening?"

"Oh it's been great Annie," she said. "We've shopped in almost every single store! I've bought everything from shower-rings to lawn-mowers!"

"That's great," Anakin replied. "I've been having fun too..."

Padme looked at him and he knew she didn't believe him. "Okay, what's up?" she asked seriously.

Anakin hesitated. He didn't like to get Luke and Leia into trouble. They were great kids, but sometimes they drove him to the edge of insanity. On the other hand, Padme was his wife, and he had a duty to tell her.

"Luke and Leia pulled a prank on me," his statement came out as a heavy complaint.

"Well," Padme began. "Why don't you ground them?"

"No--I, uh..." Anakin blinked a couple of times. "I _am _going to ground them... it's just that they fooled me into thinking that they were vampires... and I got to thinking..."

"Oh Anakin," they way Padme said his name made him feel all warm inside. "Honey, I think you should tell them about your..._secret_..."

"Awwwwwww, do I have to?" Anakin whined.

"It's about time you told them," Padme replied. "They need to know, Anakin."

"But Paaaaaadme!" Anakin continued.

"_Anakin_," she gave him 'the look.'

"Alright, I'll think about it..." Inside, Anakin knew that he'd have to tell Luke and Leia sooner or later.

"Good. By the way, I wanted to talk to you earlier, but Leia said you went for a walk," said Padme.

Anakin dismissed the fact that he couldn't remember anything that had happened after he'd passed out.

Padme proceeded. "I found your lightsaber and your _fake ID's _lying by stairs," she glared at him.

"Uh..."

"We'll talk about that later," she replied. "I put them in the shoe closet. I don't know why..."

"Oookay..." Anakin stared at her blankly.

"But, I've got some great news!" Padme jumped.

"What is it sweetie?" Anakin smiled in that husbandly manner.

"I.. I..." she seemed to excited to follow through.

"Yes?"

"I bought you... a..."

"Yes? YES?" Anakin grew impatient.

"I BOUGHT YOU A KILT!" she practically screamed at him.

Anakin began to sweat. "Uh... I think Luke's stuck in the dryer again-- GOTTA' GO! I love you Padme!" he disconnected himself and ran back into the living room. "That was close..." His stomach growled again.

He looked out the broken window that he had jumped through and thought about the storm that was coming. The last thing he needed was Padme getting mad at him for letting the carpet and furniture get soaked by the rain. He quickly ran upstairs, grabbed a sheet, flossed his teeth, ran back downstairs, and put the sheet over the broken window.

Obi-Wan and the twins came in shortly afterwards. They'd finally removed the make-up.

"I'll be leaving now, seeing as there never WAS a music video," Obi-Wan glared at Luke and Leia.

They smiled sweetly.

"Grr! How come my glares never work on you guys!" he asked desperately.

"Well for one thing," Luke began. "Mom has scary eyes, and Dad has the power of the Darksi--"

"LUKE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Leia jumped on him.

"Yes, I'm just going to leave now..." and with that, Obi-Wan walked out the door.

Anakin just sat down on his Lazyboy and watched the two strangle each other. It'd been many years since either he or Padme had bothered to break them up. He felt sharp stabbing pains of hunger in his stomach. He needed to find someone to feed on soon, but he had to wait until Luke and Leia were asleep. Judging by their fight, they'd be up for a while.

"Awwwwwwwwwwww!" Anakin groaned in pain.

_**BOOM!**_

Thunder cackled as the storm began. The twins stopped fighting and stared at each other.

_**BOOM!**_

It happened again, but this time the lights went out.

"AAAHH! Where is everybody!" Leia screamed.

"ACK! GET OFF MY FACE LEIA!" Luke yelled.

"BE QUIET!" Anakin roared. Lightning lit up the room once in a while, and Anakin navigated himself to the shoe closet. "I sense a disturbance in the force..."

"No duh, Dad!" Luke remarked.

"No," Anakin whispered, grabbing his lightsaber. He pressed the switch and it blazed into life. "Someone's trying to break in..."

The twins stood on the spot, looking at him.

'Stay here' he signaled to them. He crept out to the back and slowly opened the patio-door. Sure enough, there was a masked figure walking around the flower beds. Anakin was about to make his move when the sharp stabs of hunger kicked in again. Suddenly, an idea struck him. He looked at the mysterious figure and thought about what to do.

_Luke and Leia aren't looking... go for it!_

Anakin flipped over the patio in one graceful motion, and jumped the masked man.

"OW!" the guy yelled.

"Uh... I'm sorry to interrupt your little break-in, but I'm really hungry!" Anakin told him, throwing his lightsaber aside.

"So why should I care?" the guy asked.

"Well, I don't care if you care or not, but it'd be nice if you did, I guess..." Anakin grinned sheepishly.

"Uh huh..."

"Yeah, so just calm your nerves so we get this over with," he ordered.

"What the heck are you talking abou--"

The man never got to finish his sentence. Anakin bent down and sunk his fangs into the guys' neck! The poor masked guy tried to scream for help but Anakin clamped his mouth shut with his hand. Still, the guy kept struggling in his deadly grasp.

The vampire Jedi moaned in pleasure as the taste of blood filled his mouth.

_Ooooooooooh YEEEEEAAAH! This ish sooooooooooooooooooo GOOOOOOOOOOD! Sooooooo sweeeeet... Mmmmm-- but it's not better than BACON! MWAHAHAHAHAhahahaHAHAHA..._

The storm around them raged on as it began to rain. The droplets pounded on them like missles and soon both of them were drenched. Anakin didn't mind though. Oh no, he was to busy drinking to care. The red liquid gushed in like waves of addiction, and Anakin was attempted to suck this fool dry. Seconds, turned into minutes, and soon, the struggling ceased. The body started to grow limp.

_So delicious..._

Anakin tried never to kill anyone during his feasts, but he was just SO hungry tonight.

_I have to stop now... Gosh darn it! And it was just getting juicy..._

In one swift movement, Anakin let go. The body slumped onto the wet grass in a state of unconsciousness. He was still alive, and would be okay in a few hours or so. There were two twin holes on his neck where Anakin had pierced into his skin. They'd fade into a small scar in time.

Anakin breathed heavily, as the rain-drops rolled down his face. He stared down at his victim for the night and licked the blood off his lips. Yep, he was satisfied.

"All in a night's work," he mumbled to himself. He turned around to walk back into his house.

That was when he noticed Luke and Leia standing by the doorway. They're faces were filled with sheer terror.

Anakin froze.

"Daddy, are you a vampire?"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**DUN DUN DUNNNNN...**

**A/N: GASP! Anakin's been caught at the scene of the crime! CLIFFIE'S COLOR MY WORLD! In other news, I was half-asleep when I typed this up... Wow. I'm glad I got finished as fast as I did! Thanks for reading! So whatcha think! Care ta' review and tell me? Plz do! Remember, no flames.**

**May the Force be with you.**

**xoxoxo .Sweet-Krazy.03.**


	4. Chappy 3 : The Great Quest for Sugar P1

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.**

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm like soooooooooooetc sorry I haven't updated in forever! Alas, I've been struck with a case of writer's block!(Gasp!) I'm not sure if I'm entirely over it, but I felt like writing the next piece (shrug). I hope you guys like it. I'm as satisfied with this as I could get, so... (Deep breath) Here goes another chap! **

**Responses to yer GNARLY reviews:**

**Sapphire Green - Righteous! (grin) Thanks so much! **

**Laura-chan - OMG! Thank you! If I had a penny for everytime someone told me that, I'd be richer than Bill Gates. Anakin as a vamp _is _strange, but I just wanted to try it out for myself. I think it's working out (grin). Glad ya' likees!**

**KrazywithaK - AAAAAHH! ANYTHING BUT THE PYROMANIACAL FLYING SQUIRRELS! NOOOOO! Here's your update! (cowers in fear) Please don't hurt me! Btw, many thanks for visiting my homepage! AND you reviewed TWICE! Utterly hilarious! GOD BLESS YOU! Have a batch of cookies! YOU ROK! May the Force always be with you Master Pyro! **

**random-idiot-v2 - YAY! You got an account! Nice username! I feel honored and totally humbled to have your first review; THANK YOU! Of course I'll give Anakin some bacon on your behalf! YO ANNIE! (hands him a huge platter of bacon)-- (Anakin: Good Gods, it beautiful... Thank you sooooooo much Random-idiot-v2!) Peace 2 u buddy!**

**Neko Kuroban - You make me weep tears of joy! It left you entranced! Brilliant writing! I LOVE YOU! Have a free lawn mower! ROK ON DUDE!**

**LovelyFairy - Thankya'! Thankya'! Thankya'! The prologue tends to have that effect on the readers. I think I should warn you that it's gonna' get creepier. I have a farfetched imagination and you ain't seen nothin' yet! Thanks for reviewing! **

**skywalking - Sweet! Poor Anakin, though; still he didn't wake up after that. He's a heavy sleeper, I guess. (shrug) I like smackdown. It's a cool show, but it's starting to get all soapy and dramatic, ya know? Anakin didn't kill the guy because he understands it's not the most humane thing. Then again, accidents do happen... Thanks for deh' feedback dude!**

**Lilium Tigris - WHAHOO! 'Awesome' is one word I'll never tire of! Thanks!**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Chapter 3: The Great Quest for Sugar Part I**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Daddy, are you a vampire?" Leia asked. Her voice was filled with innocence and shock.

"No..._maybe_...yeah..."

The twins stood quietly for a moment.

"AWESOME!" Luke yelled out. "Do you, like, sleep in a coffin or something?"

Anakin stared at Luke. "Uh... No... I sleep beside your mother."

"So, she sleeps in the coffin _with _you?" Luke tried to understand.

"NO, I mean," Anakin sighed. This was going to be a loooooooooong night. "Oh why did Obi-Wan have to leave?"

"Uncle Obi-Wan sleeps with you guys too? That coffin's gotta' be pretty big--"

"LUKE! _LISTEN _to ME!" Anakin begged his son. "I sleep beside your mother, WITHOUT Obi-Wan, in our **_BED_**."

"So Uncle Obi-Wan sleeps in the coffin by himself," Luke nodded idiotically.

"GOSH DARN-IT, LUKE!" Anakin slapped his forehead. "THERE _IS _NO FLIPPING COFFIN!"

"FAR OUT! The coffin can flip!"

Anakin felt like crying.

_Maybe I SHOULD have joined the Darkside... At least I would've been away from this freak of nature! (Insert mental groan here)_

Meanwhile, Leia was staring at her father, completely awe-struck. Her dad, a vampire? Wierd... It _did _explain a lot of things, like how his injuries healed so quickly, and why he looked twenty-five instead of thirty-six. But still, just the thought of him sucking the blood out of innocent people bothered her.

"Dad..." she whispered to herself.

Anakin walked back through the patio-door, and out of the rain. He placed his gaze on the young teens. Leia appeared to be in deep thought, and Luke was staring at him with huge twinkling eyes. At least one out of the two was taking this pretty well... Then again, Luke was a strange one. The Jedi Master looked at his daughter. She hadn't said a word since his confession. Anakin grew worried.

"Leia, sweetie, are you okay?" He knelt down beside her. She looked back at him with big brown eyes. She nodded as if to say 'yes,' but Anakin decided to reach out to her via the Force just in case.

_Curiosity with a tablespoon of fear..._

"I'm so sorry Leia," Anakin wrapped his arms around her form. "Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you."

Leia slowly wrapped her arms around Anakin. "I know Dad, I know..."

Anakin wanted so much to believe his daughter, but something about her words left him speechless. Maybe it was the fact that _she_ wanted to believe _him_. Anakin hugged Leia tighter.

"Dad, I c-c-can't b-breathe!" she gasped.

"Oops, sorry," Anakin grinned slightly and loosened his embrace.

The moment was perfect. Sure, Leia's clothes were getting wet from hugging her soaked father, but it's the thought that counts right? Overall, it was a happy little scenario as long as you ignored Luke, who was rolling around in the mud for some odd reason. Nothing could ruin this, except maybe Qui-Gon, but that could never happe--

"Hey, whenever you're done cuddling that hairy-excuse-of-a-daughter, we're out of sugar," the spirit floated in.

"I am NOT hairy!" Leia protested. "Have you seen Luke's back!"

"Yes, it wasn't pretty," Qui-Gon grimaced.

"Whatever, we'll get Luke's back waxed this weekend," Anakin stood up. Luke stopped rolling in the mud and gaped at his father.

Anakin walked over to Qui-Gon. "Why can't you get your own sugar?"

"Well do you honestly think people would give sugar to an aparition?"

"Yes."

If Qui-Gon could've smacked Anakin upside the head at that point, he would've.

"If you don't go and get me some sugar, I'll eat your brain while your sleeping!"

"FINE! I'LL GO GET YOUR BLASTED SUGAR!"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

It was about eight that night, when Anakin was finally ready. If he knew anything at all, he knew that going around the neighborhood, asking for sugar was downright dangerous. It was practically a suicide mission! Who knew what terrors awaited him?

He gathered himself and stood in front of the mirror. He was clad in a black jump-suit that he'd found in Luke's closet for some reason. There was a gnarly utility belt around his waist that held his lightsaber, a blaster, a few grenades, a juice-box (in case he got thirsty on the job), and of course A MEASURING CUP!

Anakin bent down to strap his boots on. Then he stood up, secured his gloves, and glanced at his reflection again. It might me the last time he'd ever look upon it. He blinked and turned around.

_It is time._

He walked out the door and stopped on the front porch. The storm suddenly stopped, and everything grew quiet. The only thing that could be heard was Anakin's calm breathing. The pale moonlight hung overhead, and mystically illuminated his figure at the doorstep. The cool summer atmosphere shrouded him like a cloak. It was as if nature itself had silenced in order to pay tribute to Anakin's cause. He was about to embark on a perilous adventure, but he was ready. A mild breeze coursed through his hair and made him feel tingly. He grabbed his night vision goggles and snapped them in place.

"Bring it on..." he whispered before stepping out into his destiny.

Luke, Leia, and the ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn stood at the open door-way. They watched as Anakin majestically walked down the street.

"There goes a great hero..." Luke saluted him in admiration.

"Oh brother," Leia rolled her eyes.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

About half a standard hour later, Anakin found himself walkin up to a nice little brick house with maroon shutters. There was smoke coming out from the chimney accompanied with the fresh smell of chocolate chip cookies. So far, he'd visited a total of thirteen houses, and each one had been as hostile as the last. He'd come across drunks, weeping-widows, 'Anakin Skywalker' fan clubs, frat parties, voodoo cults, poodoo cults (he'd rather not have visited that house...), Goths, thugs, cross-dressers, the cast of 'SEINFELD', you name it. All in all, he still didn't have his sugar.

As Anakin looked up at his fourteenth house, he hoped it would be different. He took a deep breath and pressed the doorbell two times. The things he did to avoid having his brain eaten.

He sighed and waited for someone to open the door. He took this time to examine his surroundings. The front lawn looked just as welcoming as the house. Unlike a lot of the people that lived in this neighborhood, it looked like it was mowed once in a while. There were many flower-pots outlining the porch. Wind chimes hung from the canopy, and Anakin felt the need to... well, chime them. He touched one of the tiny, silver cylinders and a soft tinkling sound emitted. Anakin giggled like a school-girl, and touched it again. This time, the sound was louder, making Anakin snort in pleasure. He turned a bit and saw a swing-set beside him. He grinned madly before sitting down on it. In seconds he was up in the air squealing like a wittle piggy.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

That was when the door opened and a tiny old lady peered out. She tipped her round glasses, and looked at Anakin.

"Well hello there young man," she greeted him kindly. "What brings you here?"

Anakin stopped abruptly and stepped off the swing. "Sorry to disturb you ma'am," he blushed. "I wish to borrow some sugar."

"Why of course!" the little lady jumped up in the air in delight. "You'll make a nice feast-- I mean, while you're here, would you care to come inside for some milk-and-cookies?"

"WOULD I!" Anakin's face lit up. He followed the lady into the house. The scent of cookie-dough immediately surrounded him, overwhelming him. It almost felt like he was in a bakery. He closed his eyes and took in the aura.

_Oh maaaaaaaan, that smells delish..._

"My name is Mrs. EvilwitchfromHanselandGretelbutyoudon'tknowthatbecauseI'mdisguisedasaninnocentoldlady," she said, showing him into the kitchen

_Interesting name..._

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. EvilwitchfromHanselandGretelbutyoudon'tknowthatbecauseI'mdisguisedasaninnocentoldlady," he smiled. "I'm Jedi Master, Anakin Skywalker."

"Well, Mr. Skywalker, please help yourself to some brownies while I get the chocolate-chip cookies," she gestured to a tray of recently-cooked brownies to his left. Anakin's mouth watered as he sat down and grabbed a bunch.

"Fank-vew-- tho vuch," Anakin thanked her between mouth-fulls.

"Don't mention it sweatheart," she patted his head. "You just eat _all _you want, until you're all _plump _and _juicy_...oh, you'll make a nice feast, indeed..."

"Sure thing, Mrs. E!" Anakin chirped, completely oblivious to her plan.

So our favorite Jedi continued to eat to his heart's content. Half-way, he stopped and stared suspiciously at the old lady.

_Why do I get the feeling that she's purposely fattening me up so she can eat me?_

Mrs. E smiled warmly at him, and he felt right at home.

_Nah..._

The lady smiled some more and watched Anakin scarf down a cupcake. She shoved a huge cake towards him, and Anakin proceeded gobbling it down. Minute after minute went by, and soon Anakin was as round as a float in the Turkey-day parade.

"Oh, I don't feel so good..." Anakin moaned, putting a hand on his belly.

"Nonsense! You look great..." Mrs. E looked at at Anakin like a bird to it's prey.

Anakin noticed this and gulped. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Don't worry Mr. Skywalker," she took out a fork and knife. "This won't hurt a bit..."

"W-w-what are y-you d-d-doing!" Anakin tried to back away, but found that he was a little too chubby.

"I think I'll eat your brain first..."

_Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!_

"Who are you!" Anakin shrieked.

"Silly boy," Mrs. E tutted. "I am the evil witch from 'HANSEL AND GRETEL!'"

_That would explain the name..._

"Okay," Anakin rolled over to one side. "I didn't want to have to hurt an old lady, but seeing as you're not one--" he whipped out his juice-box and squirted her.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! I'm _MELTING_!" she screamed as she turned into a puddle. Anakin took this chance to roll out the front door. He rolled into the driveway and watched as the entire house turned into dust.

"Pity, I was beginning to like that place..." Anakin stood up, as his weight wore off. "And I _still _don't have sugar..."

"You know, you could always go to the grocery store and BUY some sugar..." Qui-Gon appeared in front of him.

Anakin narrowed his eyes. "I was sooo going to do that... eventually..."

"Sure, whatever," Qui-Gon shrugged. "I gave up trying to understand your stupidity a loooooooooong time ago."

"Oh, shut-up."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Anakin stood outside his speeder, waiting for the baby-sitter to arrive. He'd normally intrust Leia with the job of looking after Luke, but now with the whole 'vampire' situation... Luke was already insane as he was. He didn't want to burden Leia with him.

A few minutes later, another speeder landed beside him. There was a little pause before the door opened and Jedi Master, Mace Windu hopped out.

"Hello there Master!" Anakin greeted. Mace just glared at him.

"Zip it Skywalker. The only reason I'm here is because I need a few extra creds to pay off my hair-restoration products."

"You sad, sad bald little man..." Anakin shook is head.

Mace glared at him harder. "One day, you'll lose all of your hair... then you'll see..."

"Sure thing Wendy," Anakin grinned.

"It's Windu, you beef jerky!"

Anakin was unimpressed. "That's all you got?" he rolled his eyes. "The kiddies are inside," he pointed to the house. "Bedtime's at 10:30, and no compromises. Don't forget to remind Luke to take his ear-medicine, and try to keep him out of the dryer. He likes to crawl around in there."

"Ooookay..." Mace nodded.

"I'll be back soon, so I'm hoping twenty-five credits will cover everyting?"

"Yeah."

"Good," Anakin got into his speeder and started it up. "If you need anything, Padme's gonna' be home soon. Actually... just tell Qui-Gon," and with that, Anakin flew off.

"Qui-Gon?" Mace puzzled. "I thought he was dead..."

"Whatsup Wendy?" Qui-Gon appeared beside him. Mace freaked.

"Bu-what--how can--"

"Psst," Qui-Gon whispered. "You have something sticking out of your nose..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"It looks kinda' fuzzy, and... ewwww..."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**A/N: YO HO HO and a bottle of rum! How was that! It's shorter than what I usually write, but hey, whatcha' gonna do? I'm gonna work on prt. 2, and hopefully I'll have it up before Thursday. (That's when school for me finally starts) Thank you so much for all of the reviews, hits, alerts, and fav's! It makes my day to know that my writing is appreciated. Even if you're just reading and not reviewing, I'm still grateful that you at least took the time to check this fic out. God bless ya' all! Also, I've been hit with a wave of ideas for a lot of other 'STAR WARS' fics that you most definitely will see soon. Be on deh' watch peeps! Have a nice day/night!**

**May the Force be with you.**

**xoxoxo .Sweet-Krazy.03.**


	5. Chappy 4 : The Would Be Lost Chapter

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.**

**A/N: Kay, this chappy was sorta' rushed, but I'm on a tight schedule since school starts tomorrow (sheepish grin). Thanks so much for all of the reviews! ENJOY CHAPTER 4!**

**Responses to deh' Reviews:**

**KrazywithaK: WHAHOO! I'm a 'Sugarhighness'! I can't tell you how much I loved ur review! No words can explain how grateful I am. You're the best! You're review made me feel so good, and it totally made my day times ten! (smile) Thank God I won't lose my hair (comes out from under the couch). Don't worry, I'll tell the men in the white coats to back off and go after Luke. ;) May the Force be with you Master Pyro. (insert 'Rock On' sign here)**

**anonymous: Thanx a bunch dude! Is Luke a werewolf? Who knows? Luke is... something... lol.**

**Jedi Knight Emerald Tyrande: Sweet! Will do buddy! Thank ya'!**

**AceGray: Yay! Thanks! Okay, so how _can _Anakin see his reflection if he's a vampire? Well, I actually explain that in this chap, but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that he uses a special material to cover the mirrors so others don't get suspicious. Honestly, that thought never occured to me when I originally did chapter 3, so that was a major nit picky question. Thanks anyway for asking, or I would've completely overlooked it. Peace out!**

**random-idiot-v2: I thought Mace would be a good baby-sitter. MWAHAHAHAHAHahahahahaHAHAHAhahahaha... yeah, I'll stop now. This chap was originally gonna be about Part 2 of the 'Great Quest for Sugar,' but I changed it so the readers got to see what happened with Mace and the twins. Hope you'll be pleased! I tried my best, but as I said, it was rushed.**

**Neko Kuroban: (pokes u back) You sure like to poke a lot (grin). Here's yer update of DOOM! Thank you so much buddy! **

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Chapter 4: The Would-Be Lost Chapter**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

_"Do you, Anakin Skywalker, hereby take this strip of bacon to be your lawfully wedded wife?" _

_Anakin grinned as he looked down at the plate that held his fiance, 'Conny Baconette.' "I do." _

_The priest looked down at the bacon. "And do you, Conny Baconette, hereby take this man--"_

_"Jedi Master," Anakin coughed._

_"Uh yes," the priest corrected himself. "Do you hereby take this **Jedi Master** to be your lawfully wedded husband?"_

_There was a moment of silence. The bacon said nothing._

_"Conny?" Anakin whispered._

_Silence._

_"Is there a problem here?" the priest asked._

_"I'm not sure," Anakin furrowed his brow. "Could we have minute?"_

_"Of course," the priest turned around and put his headphones on. They were blasting 'DON'T PHUNK WITH MY HEART,' by the Black-eyed Peas._

_Anakin knelt down to make 'eye-contact' with Conny. "What's wrong, baby?"_

_Silence._

_"What! You're having doubts!" Anakin gasped. "But why!"_

_Silence._

_"I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Anakin stared at Conny in shock._

_Silence._

_"What's wrong with my hair?" Anakin asked, confused._

_Silence._

_"Are you kidding me? I'm not bald!" Anakin shot back._

_Silence._

_"Fine! I'll look in the mirror," Anakin forfeited. He walked over to a mirror on the wall. "I really don't see how you think I'm-- HOLY SITH! I'M BALD!" Anakin grabbed his empty scalp in horror. He fell to his knees, and wailed, "NOOOO!"_

_Suddenly, the church started to cave in. A look of panic replaced Anakin's features. He turned around, fearing the worst. _

_"CONNY!" he called out. The ground shook violently, nearly knocking him over. It took many efforts to stabalize himself, but the tremors grew more fierce by the second. He crawled over to the altar in search of his beloved wife-to-be. He moved around frantically for seconds, and then he finally found 'her.' Or what was left of her..._

_"No, Conny!" Anakin gasped through tears. The plate that had supported her was in shambles, but it was nothing compared to Conny's status. There was piece of stained glass protruding from the piece of bacon, and grease dramatically dripped from it, forming an oily puddle around her. _

_Anakin tried to reach out and touch her, but the floor threatened to give away. By now, the building looked as if a herd of banthas had stampeded through it. Still, the earthquake continued, and the destruction worsened. Pieces of glass flew from the windows like darts, and one grazed Anakin's left elbow. He winced in pain, but reached out again towards Conny. "I won't lose you, damnit!" _

_He was but millimeter's from her form when a large stone collided against his head. He fell over instantly, and his vision began fading. He tried to keep himself awake, but found himself slipping further into darkness. The last thing he heard was the faint sound of music coming from headphones of some sort..._

_"No, no, no, no, don't phunk with my heart! I wonder if I take you home. Will you still be in love, baby..."_

_Then nothing. Anakin felt numb. Everything was quiet. Only one thing echoed in his head._

_"One day, you'll lose all of your hair... then you'll see..."_

_"No..."_

_"...all of you your hair..."_

_"This can't be happening..."_

_"... then you'll see..."_

_"LIAR!"_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"LIAR!" Anakin shrieked. He sat up, and took sharp intakes of breath.

He gazed around and saw that he was stuck in traffic. No wonder he'd fallen asleep in his speeder.

_It was just a dream... or was it?_

Anakin looked at his reflection in the rear-view mirror. He sighed in relief when found the thick golden-auburn locks of hair that barely hung past his shoulders.

He looked closer at the mirror, and frowned. It was made out of the same material as the mirrors in his house, so that his reflection was visible. He had invested in them so that no one would get suspicious of him being a vampire if he had no reflection. The material cost him a fortune, but it was necessary in case he was with a stranger or someone who didn't know his secret. Normal mirrors were a pain in the butt, though. He tried to avoid them as much as possible.

Anakin sat back and thought about his nightmare. It was really strange, but one thing was for sure. Windu's words were getting to him, and he didn't like it one bit. On the bright side, that strip of bacon sure looked good.

_Mmmm... bacon... WAIT! What am I thinking! I love Padme! Not a strip of bacon... Then again... Maybe we could work out a three-some..._

Anakin shook his corrupted thoughts away as the commlink began to beep. He snatched it up and answered immediately.

"Hiya! You have reached Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker, how may help you?"

"Hello Anakin," Obi-Wan replied.

"Oh, hey there Conny--" Anakin froze. He didn't just say that. "Uh... I mean, Padme-- No, Ben?"

_Oh no! I forgot his name... maybe it's Garfunkle... hehehe, that's a funny name... (snort)_

"Anakin?"

"Yes, Obi-Nobi?"

"It's _Obi-Wan_..."

Anakin went cranberry red. "Right, I was just testing you." He saw the wierd look his former-master was giving him.

"Anyway," Obi-Wan cleared his throat. "Whatcha' doing?" he asked in a way that was a little too casual for Anakin's liking.

"Um..." Anakin thought. "I'm going to buy sugar, why?"

"No reason, I'm just bored is all," he answered. There was a long pause. "Uh, do you mind if I tag along?"

"Sure, I guess," Anakin shrugged. "I'm on Earth."

Long silence.

"Anakin, you live on Naboo. What the hell are you doing on Earth!"

"Qui-Gon needs sugar," Anakin answered pathetically.

"So you flew all they way to the Milky-Way Galaxy?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Well, I needed to get as far away from my house as possible," Anakin bit his lower lip. "Luke and Leia found out about my... erm... you know... that _thing_..."

"Oh my Gods!" Obi-Wan tugged at his beard fiercly. "They found out that you used to be a Hutt!"

Very disturbing silcence.

"You've definitely lost it, Obi-Wan," Anakin nodded sadly. "They found out that I'm a VAMPIRE!"

"Oh..." the older Jedi Master sighed. "How'd they take it?"

"Pretty well, actually," Anakin said. "Luke's thinks it's the best thing since 'PLAYBOY', and Leia's learning to cope."

"That's good," Obi-Wan nodded. "So, tell me exactly where you're going, and I'l meet you there."

"But I thought your speeder was--"

"I'll hitchhike."

"Okey dokey, I'm in this place called New York City," Anakin looked outside. "The traffic here is horrible, and their speeders are all yellow and funny looking," he stared at the taxi-cabs surrounding him. The constant honking was driving him insane... or insaner than he already was.

"Right, I'll seeya soon, Anakin," Obi-Wan waved.

"Back at ya', Garfunkle-- I mean Obi-Wan."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

One nice and sunny day, Prince Legolas Greanleaf of Mirkwood was happily prancing through the woods... HEY! Does this even have anything to do with our story!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Meanwhile with the twins and Qui-Gon... BWAHAHAHAhahahaHAHAHA! I should get paid for this...**

It was a quarter before nine and Leia was sitting in her room edititing holo-chips. It was the footage from the prank they had pulled on their father. They were actually making a music video out of it for their new song, 'Feeding On Deception.' So far, they only had about five seconds worth of footage they could actually use. They were far from done, but in the end, it would all be worth it.

Leia sat back in her rolley-chair and sighed, "This is going to be so cool." She picked up a small picture frame from her desk and looked at it. It was a picture of their band, 'REBELZ N' ROGUEZ.' Leia was the lead singer, Han sang and also played guitar, Luke played bass guitar and sometimes did back-up vocals, and Wedge was the drummer. Leia ran her fingers over her boyfriend, Han's, face. He was originally the lead singer, but that changed when they started dating each other. He'd told her that her voice was 'angelic,' and offered her a place in the band. Leia had agreed only because she knew that she'd be able to hang out her man more often that way.

Leia placed a small kiss on his picture, and placed the frame back. At that moment, Qui-Gon floated through the floor.

"The baby-sitter's here," he said.

"Yeah, so?"

"Go greet him or something," Qui-Gon waved her off.

"I'm busy."

"I'll spit down your neck if you don't," the ghost threatened.

"Can you really?" Leia asked.

"No, but they don't say 'Use the Force' for nothing."

"Whatever, I'll go," Leia closed the files on her computer. "I need a break."

After a few minutes, Leia walked out onto the front porch. She spotted the baby-sitter by his speeder. She immediately recognized him.

"Hey Master Windu!" She ran up to him "Glad you could com-- WHY ARE YOU PICKING YOUR NOSE!"

Mace stopped and acknowledged her presence. "I'm not picking my nose... I'm simply _scratching _it."

"Oh puhleeze! You were picking your nose so bad, your _hand _was practically in it," Leia glared at him.

Mace glared back, and flared his nostrils for the extra effect. His eyes turned red and glowed eerily. Suddenly, steam started to come out of his ears. Leia noticed this and it really bothered her. "Are you okay, Master Windu?"

"DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY!" he took out his lightsaber and started twirling it.

"Someone's had a bad day..."

Mace started advancing Leia. "DIE POLITICAL SCUM!"

"I KNOW YOU DID _NOT_ JUST INSULT ME!" Leia jumped in the air and did a Matrix move. "HAI-YAH!" she kicked Mace in the face, and flipped backwards. Mace flew half-way across the street, and into a an open manhole. Leia quickly ran over and looked down into the dark tunnel.

"Master Windu, are you descent?"

A large groan came from within the manhole. "Aaugh, I'm fine... Obi-Wan's speeder broke my fall."

"Hold on, I'll get you a rope," Leia ran back into the house. Seconds later, she came running out with the rope. "Look out!" she yelled as she threw it in. "Alright, give me three tugs, and I'll hoist you up!"

_Tug. Tug._

"Just one more now..."

All of a sudden, she heard Mace scream. It sounded so... _girly_...

"What's happening!" Leia yelled.

"ALLIGATORS!"

"But there are no alligators in sewe--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Mace give a huge tug on the rope, and Leia fell into manhole. She groaned in pain as she stood up. It was pitch black, but she managed to make out vague figures. The sound of rushing sewage water could be heard in the distance. Leia looked around, and found that she was standing on top of Obi-Wan's speeder. Mace was sitting a few inches away from her. Other than that, everything seemed to be in order.

"See?" she pointed out. "No alligators."

That was when she saw a pair of glowing eyes...

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Qui-Gon was aimlessly floating around the Skywalker place, occasionally wreaking havoc on the furniture, when he starting hearing odd noises.

_**Swish... Swish... KA-THUNK! WEEEEEEEE! Swish... KA-THUNK! Ow, that hurt...**_

The spirit floated into the laundry room and over to the dryer. He slowly opened the door and saw Luke spinning at a neck-breaking speed.

"Heeeeeeey Quiiiiiiiiii-Goooooooooooonnn," he did the 'peace' sign.

Qui-Gon stared at him for a minute before he shrugged and closed the door. Not his problem.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Padme finished packing in all of her purchases in the speeder before climbing in herself. She started it up, and punched in the coordinates of her house. Soon, she was soaring high above Naboo.

She'd just had the best time shopping with her mother and older sister at the mall. She'd bought so many things, she doubted if she ever needed to go shopping again. Padme smiled.

A few minutes into the journey, and she was already bored. Padme left the wheel for a split second and reached into the glove compartment for a book. She felt around for bit, and finally got a hold of her favorite novel, 'SO YOU'RE MARRIED TO A JEDI.' She sat back up in her seat, but suddenly the speeder hit something. She grabbed the controls and realized that she was flying a little too close the ground. She'd just plowed over a statue of the current Queen of Naboo. That probably wouldn't leave such a pretty mark on her political record.

She was about to bring the speeder up when she noticed a small figure in the distance. They were sticking their thumb out, indicating they were a hitchhiking. The figure watched in horror as Padme's speeder came closer and closer. Padme watched in horror as her speeder went closer and closer. The small kid with the ice cream cone watched in horror as the frog hopped closer and closer. Padme's speeder ran over the frog.

_**SQUIIIIIISH!**_

The little kid picked up a stick and poked the dead frog with it.

And Padme's speeder still grew ever so close to the figure.

"Oh my Gods..." Padme gripped the controls tightly, trying to bring the speeder up, but it didn't work. She panicked when she saw that she was but a few measley yards from hitting the poor man. She tried pulling the speeder up again, but it still failed. "WORK YOU STUPID PIECE OF CRAP!" she beat the controls with the book. She was now just inches from hitting the stranger, and completely helpless. She looked at his horror-stricken face, and realized who it was.

"OBI-WAN!"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Anakin had gotten tired of being stuck in traffic, so he'd just ditched his speeder among the ocean of taxi's. He was walking happily down a sidewalk, on his way to the nearest grocery store. All was well, but then he noticed people staring at him, whispering things amongst themselves.

"Isn't he that guy from 'STAR WARS?'"

"WHOA! Dude, it's like, ANAKIN!"

"Will you marry me?"

"He's wearing his costume! That's hot."

"I think Darth Vader is sexier."

"Look at that fine ass..."

Anakin blushed. He walked past a mother and her son.

"Henry, stop staring at that stranger!"

"But Mommy, it's a Jedi!"

"Correction," Anakin began. "I'm a 'Jedi _Master_.'"

The little boy looked like Christmas had come early when Anakin spoke to him. Anakin smiled at him before he continued on his way. He walked past a bus stop when something caught his eye. He did a double-take and stared at a large poster advertising something called 'STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH.' What really intrigued him was the fact that it was his face that was on it.

"I KNEW IT! PEOPLE ARE SPYING ON ME!" Anakin screamed. "I was right all along! Wait till I tell Padme!"

Just then, a swarm of rabid fangirls jumped him.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**A/N: A lot of cliffies there. All the more reason for you to tune in, right? Anyway, I'm not sure when I'll be able to update, but I'll try ta' work on it this weekend:) Review if ya' dare! **

**Note: No strips of bacon, hot elven princes from 'LORD OF THE RINGS', alligators,or frogs were harmed during the making of this really odd fanfic. Thank you.**

**R0K OuT waaaaaaaaaaay OUT!**

**May the Force be with you.**

**xoxoxo .Sweet-Krazy.03.**


	6. Chappy 5 : Chronicles of Chaos

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-Krazy.03. does not own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else.**

**A/N: GUESS WHO FINALLY UPDATED! (strikes a strange rockstar pose) I can't even begin to express how sorry I am for the delay; just know that I genuinely tried, despite school and laziness. I know it's been FOREVER so if you readers have gotten bored and old from waiting and refuse to continue, I totally understand! I started writing this fanfic because I really liked the idea, and it amuses me to see what crazy, twisted stuff I can come up with, so I'm gonna' continue until it's complete--even if it takes me a lifetime to do so (talk about perseverance, lol!). As for all of those readers willing to proceed reading, this chapter is extra-long (so don't fall asleep if it gets too boring for you), and I've jam-packed it with a lot scenarios, so ENJOY, dudes! Thanks for your cooperation. ROCK ONNNNNNNNNN!**

**Responses to Reviewers: (You guys make writing this fanfic WAAAY worthwile, and I dedicate this to you! Luv ya!)**

**Squashed Frog: Hi! It would be hilarious if Obi-Wan accidentally hitchhiked to Middle-Earth. Imagine him running into Aragorn or Gimli! Lol! Also, believe it or not, but I _was _actually going to add a scene where Anakin watches RotS, but then I thought that might screw up a lot of plot and raise some questions on his part. Sorry if that burst any bubbles! I'm really glad that you liked the part about the alligator (totally random idea to add that), dude. I thought I might be going a little way-outta'-the-way with that, but then I realized that this entire story is way-outta'-the-way. Thanks for reviewing!**

**meandmysharpie: What is zis 'swarm' you speak of? Lol! I'm just kidding; welcome aboard, buddy! (Btw, do you realize how awesome your username is?) I can't say this enough to my reviewers, but you don't know how much it means to know that you guys are really enjoying this fic. If only you could see the smile on face right now! As for your question, I'm not really sure what those things are (and I feel really stupid for not knowing, just so you know), so if you'd be kind enough to tell me, I'd gladly answer. :) Anyway, here's your update!**

**ThorongilFinweion: It'll be hectic and chaotic when Obi-Wan arrives in New York, I can tell ya' that much. Moreover, I have a feeling that Padme won't be at all pleased when she finds out what the twins have been up to in her absence. If Qui-Gon thinks otherwise, then he's got another thing coming! Thanks for reviewing, and may the Force be with you! **

**Anakinluver6: Thanks a heap! Again, I'm sorry for my sloooooooooow updating process, and I hope you're still interested in this fic:) Rock on!**

**AceGray: It was my pleasure answering your review. Besides, I'm the one who should be thanking you for bringing up that question in the first place:) Knowing Luke, he probably takes his baths in the washer, lmao! Thanks again, dude!**

**random-idiot-v2: The 'bacon' is strong with this one... Lol! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Unknown: Thanks, man! Here's the much-anticipated update!**

**KrazywithaK: MAJOR KUDOS TO YOU, MASTER PYRO! I absolutely LOVED that little vignette you wrote about Han putting a frog in Mace's robes. It is laugh-out-loud HILARIOUS! I really appreciate you taking your time to write that, dude. Poor Han, though! He doesn't deserve the time out chair! Maybe, at that moment, Luke randomly flies through the window in his X-WING-shaped hang-glider and tackles Mace, setting Han free! YESH! I just couldn't resist having Han and Leia date each other, because we all know it was meant to be. (grin) Sadly, I'm afraid you won't be able to hear one of the band's songs. At least, not YET. Just keep your squirrels at bay for a couple more chapters, and your wish will be granted, don't worry! (squirrels shake their fists threateningly at .Sweet-KRAZY.03.) Haha... nice squirrels... (ducks under bed)**

**whatsername: Thanks! Actually, I'm not much of an AU fan either, but ever since I started reading _Star Wars_ fics, I'm addicted to em'! This is sort of a trial-and-error AU fic, and I'm happy to report that it's doing great. (At least from what I can tell from the reviews, so thanks!)**

**ChibiAzn3: Anime totally rocks, dude! Thanks for the feedback! I wasn't really confident that the whole 'Humor/Horror' thing was going to work out, but watching a lot of Tim Burton movies helps:D**

**Ma petit: Glad you like my story and thanks for reviewing!**

**Haydenfan89: No problem, dude! I appreciate that you reviewed my story, too! Thanks so much:) Btw, your username ROCKS MY SOCKS! DENPIRE FOREVER!**

**kwazywabbit14: I agree. Homework totally sucks, and I hope it crashes and burns in some dark alley behind Kinkos! Moo ha ha... (readers give a strange look) You heard me. Anyway, it honors me to know that because of my story you've decided to read more fanfics full throttle. Honestly, I did feel pressured to update fast (and I figure there's no reason I shouldn't), but it's because of all of these killer-awesome reviews I recieve that really motivates me to sit down and type like no other, so thanks a million:D**

**Alexandra: DR. LEX! Thanks for reading my fic, dude, and the best of luck with your up-coming one! Also, I TOTALLY meant that the fangirls were foaming at the mouth. THIS IS ANAKIN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! HE IS MUY SEXY-- I mean, he's really hot... (grins innocently) Anway, I'm glad you find this creepy and funny (so I guess the genres are sort of balancing out after all...)! Have a good remainder of winter break, and I'll seeya at school next year! ROCK OUT, GOOD BUDDY!**

**BEHOLD THE FRUTACIOUS NEXT INSTALLMENT OF 'DADDY, ARE YOU A VAMPIRE?'!**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Chapter 5: Chronicles of Chaos**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"ALLIGATORS!" Mace screamed again. The dark form of the carnivorous reptile steadily swam up to them, creating large ripples in the murky water. The intricate scales across it's back flashed a nauseating metalic colour as it passed under a large shaft of light produced by the open man-hole above. It finally reached the front of the speeder and began circling around them like a vulture over a rotting carcass.

"ALLIGATORS!" Mace started to involuntarily snot, which recieved a strange look from Leia.

The gator stopped swimming in front of Mace and locked it's eyes with the disturbed man. The way it stared into Mace's eyes one could almost say that it was staring into his very soul...

"It's staring into me very soul...," Mace said hypnotically. "It's staring into the heart of me ambitions, me desires, me _need_ for... for... for..."

"For hair?" Leia said.

"No, me need for Philadelphia Cream Cheese, but that too," Mace pointed out.

Suddenly, the gator emmited a low grumbling sound; it's hunger was evident. In a snapping motion, it opened it's jaw menacingly, revealing the many razor-sharp teeth that would soon be puncturing into their skin.

Mace whimpered.

"Quick, Master Windu," Leia spoke with haste, trying not to agitate the reptile. "Use your lightsaber!"

Mace looked like he had just achieved Enlightenment. "Oh yeah..."

Leia shook her head in pity. "You are _SO _jaded..."

Mace sent her a fierce glare. Then, without any further hesitation, he quickly whipped out the silver hilt and ignited the sabre. The familiar purple blazed to life, and hummed as Mace held it out before the alligator.

"Stand back, Leia," Mace warned. "This might get ugly..."

"Uglier than finding your father and brother passed out in the den after watching non-stop podracing for six days straight?" Leia asked.

Mace contemplated this. "Probably not, but still--"

"I think I can take it," Leia nodded.

"Yes, but I think--"

Suddenly Leia saw something that made her cringe. "Um, Master?"

"--you should really--"

"Master--"

"Leia, if you'd just let me finish--"

"MASTER!"

"...What, Leia?"

"The alligator just bit your trousers off."

"What!"

"Yeah... Interesting undergarmets, by the way. I didn't realize you were a _Power Rangers_ fan."

Realization dawned on Mace as he looked down and saw his 'blue-ranger' logoed underwear instead of his trademark apricot-colored trousers. "Eeek!" His face flushed in embarrassment, and he frantically tried to cover up as much of himself as possible without dropping his weapon.

It would seem that during Mace's petty chat with Leia, the alligator had gotten bored and decided to go ahead with devouring the main course--namely, Mace. Unfortunately, the gator had very poor coordination (having been banged repeatedly in the head by a certain hunter from _Jumanji_), and had managed to retrieve Mace's pants instead.

"Leia, don't look!" Mace cried.

"Like I'd want to," Leia said with disgust.

Just then, the alligator started to grumble and make an undescribable noise. Mace thought it was probably preparing to eat Leia because it had realized that she was too mean to be kept alive. Leia thought thought it was probably preparing to eat Mace because it had realized that he was too politically-biased to be kept alive. Either way, at least one of them would be pleased.

In reality, the gator was simply gagging from the bad taste of Mace's slacks. The taste was the most Sith-awful taste a reptile could ever--and should NEVER--experience, and it secretly wondered if he ever used detergent... or even _washed_ them, for that matter. It grew too disgusted of the disgustingly, disgusting flavor in his mouth and swam away.

"Okay...," Leia said, "That was odd."

"Easier than I thought...," Mace scratched his scalp, disconcertedly. He looked around the sewage tunnel. "How are we supposed to get out of _here_, though?"

Leia gazed around in the darkness and gestured to the crusty rungs of a latter that led up to the surface. "We climb."

Mace stared at her in disbelief. "Are you kidding me! What if someone sees me!" he pointed to his undies. "I'll never be nominated for a People's Choice Award again!"

"Fine," Leia shrugged. "Stay down here for all I care. Who knows? Maybe that alligator had friends..."

"Alright, I'm coming."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Nine-twenty, standard time, had just found it's way around the Skywalker place that night. The skies were a bit overcast due to the previous storm, but a much fiercer thunder-storm was on it's way. A brisk wind coursed through the many trees of the Naboo estate, their leaves rustling almost simultaneously. Beautiful moonlight washed the rooftop in a pale glow, giving it a most breathtaking aura. The sight was perfect, and absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary...As long as you ignored the frequent screams coming from within the open man-hole across the street, and Qui-Gon attempting to purposely sabatoge Anakin's Jedi Starfighter...

Qui-Gon stood on the Skywalkers' personal landing pad on the balcony, carefully reading through his manual. If he was going to destroy Anakin's one and only starfighter, he had to do it with meticulous precision. In other words, he had to strain his brain to learn every little teeny-tiny, mind-boggling, cranium-itching detail if he wanted to mess up the darned vehicle properly.

"According to thismanual," he muttered to himself, "You have to cut the yellow wire and replace the blue one with a Hershey Kiss wrapper to... make the headlights flash pink? What the hell is this thing?"

Qui-Gon turned the manual to it's cover and gasped. It read: _How to Pimp Your Ride for That Special Chick_.

"Who in their right mind would read this trash?" Qui-Gon exclaimed in contempt before throwing it off the large balcony. He went back indoors to recover a more _appropriate _guide.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

At the other end of the house, Luke had finally come out of the dryer, and had begun crawling around everywhere, trying to find his father's 'coffin.' The poor boy just couldn't fathom the fact that there was NO flipping coffin. It was tragic, really.

So far, Luke had searched every crook and nanny of the estate including the sparring-room, Padme's hat closet, the basement, and even Anakin's cardio and weight training rooms. He was currently climbing up the chimney, trying to see if the coffin was possibly hidden there. Why it would be in a _chimney _of all places is something only a psychotic teenage boy like Luke would know.

"Come here, coffin!" he called out as if he was looking for a lost puppy. "Where are you, boy!"

His voice faded off, and Luke suddenly felt very alone. He furrowed his brow and looked below him. Having been too preoccupied with his search, he'd failed to notice how far he had climbed, and the sight of the tremendous drop made him sick.

"Aaugh, I don't feel so groovy...," he mumbled, trying to avoid looking at the height. His stomach started to act up as if it was experiencing one of Tatooine's infamous sandstorms, making him feel even more nauseous. The complexion of his skin began to turn a gruesome shade of green, and he suddenly felt the need to--

"I think I'm gonna hurl--"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

Meanwhile, Qui-Gon was happily floating through the house, humming "the Imperial March," after he had just retrieved the proper manual he needed to destroy Anakin's starfighter: _10 Steps to Murdering A Jedi...A Jedi-Starfighter That Is!_ It was a guide written by the notorious Darth Maul as a special tribute to Darth Sidious's autobiography: _Santa, I Want a Deathstar For Christmas_.

Now normally, Qui-gon wouldn't be reading something written by a Sith Lord, especially the Sith Lord who killed him, but it was the only guide that _wasn't_ published by Scholastic Reading. Now _those_ guides couldn't be trusted.

How he was able to actually _hold_ the guide was a whole different matter. It was a little thing he had picked from some guy called 'Houdini' in the afterlife in exchange for a weeks-worth of massage therapy. That week had been the worst, but it had payed off in the end. Who said you couldn't teach an old dog new tricks?

Qui-Gon was in a very jolly mood that night; so much that he had even reconsidered drawing mustaches on all of the Skywalker family portraits.

He floated by the fireplace, on his way to the landing pad, when he started hearing strange sounds--like someone was throwing up... He floated over to the fireplace and looked up into the chimney. He immediately jerked his head back as a bunch of vomit poured down, missing him by millimeters. Qui-Gon was baffled at this new development and poked his head back into the chimney to investigate further.

"Santa, is that you...Sir?" he called out.

Suddenly, Luke fell from the chimney and through the spirit's head, landing at the base of the soiled fireplace. Qui-Gon felt tingly at the spontaneous touch and backed away, slightly dazed. Luke recovered from his fall shortly afterwards and grinned at Qui-Gon.

"Sorry bout' that, Qui-Gon. I felt a little queezy," he said.

"A _little_?" Qui-Gon asked wryly.

"Meh," Luke shrugged before he started to climb up the chimney again.

Qui-Gon watched with an unreadable expression.

Just then, Threepio walked into the room and gasped when he saw the mess in the fireplace.

"What is _wrong_ with that boy!"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

You know that feeling an Ewok gets when it's about to be run over by a landspeeder? That 'deer-caught-in-the-headlights' feeling? Well that's EXACTLY what Obi-Wan felt as he watched Padme's speeder close in on him. At first, he had thought she might stop and pick him up, but obviously something had gone VERY wrong, and now there was a big chance that he was going to die. He was just an innocent hitch-hiker, for Force-sakes! Was that so hard to understand?

He closed his eyes and reminisced all of the great memories in his life. Shortly afterwards, he concluded that his life was undeniably awesome, and this was a very stupid way to die. Unfortunately, at that point, Padme's speeder was a little to close for comfort, so he went back to reminiscing. The final thought he had before he met his doom was: 'Would women find me more attractive if I shaved my beard, or do they like my rugged handsomeness?'

"OBI-WAN, WATCH-OUT!" He heard Padme say. He opened his eyes at the last-second and watched in awe as Padme manuevered her speeder past him, sparing his life. He let out a huge sigh of relief, but that was short lived when--

_**CRASH!**_

Padme's speeder collided with a statue of the Chancellor of the Republic.

"That _really_ won't look good on my political record," Padme muttered. She had managed to jump out of the speeder before the brutal collison, and now stood on the grass with a look of disbelief. "I _told_ Anakin to fix the controls, but _NO_. His six-day pod-racing marathon just _had_ to come first!"

Obi-Wan immediately rushed over to her. "Padme, are you alright?" he asked, completely forgetting that he had almost been the victim of a hit-and-run case.

Padme sighed. "I'm fine, but everything I bought today was in that speeder." Knowing that all her shopping had been destroyed was just so depressing, and for a split second, she looked as if she had just been told that Anakin had joined the Sith and killed younglings.

Obi-Wan placed a hand on her shoulder in condolence. "Don't worry, Padme. I'm sure you'll be able to make it all up."

Padme smiled at Obi-Wan. "Well, being the Senator of Naboo _does_ have it's perks." Her face brightened up, but the smile faded when she looked at her friend. "I am so sorry, Obi-Wan. I should've been paying closer attention to where I was driving." The genuine concern for him showed in her eyes as she spoke in a very sympathetic tone. "It was very careless of me, and it's all my fault that you were almost hit."

Obi-Wan smiled. "It's perfectly alright," he nodded. "I'm just glad you swerved past me when you did."

Padme returned the smile. Then she decided to ask, "Why were you hitch-hiking?"

"Yes, that's a funny story, actually...," Obi-Wan began, "My speeder kind of fell into a man-hole..."

"That speeder-sucking one in front of my house? Yeah, tell me about it," Padme shrugged. "It's enchanted or something. Just last week, it sucked in the entire Nubian basketball team."

Obi-Wan gawked.

"So where were you planning to go, anyway?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Someplace called New York City," Obi-Wan answered. "I'm planning to meet up with Anakin to aid him in his quest for sugar."

Padme gave him a weird look. "So he went to _Earth_?"

"That's what I asked him," the Jedi Master concurred, "But apparently he's still freaked out that the twins know his secret. He said he needed to get as far away as possible."

Padme's expression filled with worry for her husband. "Poor, Ani..." She made up her mind and faced her comrade. "Take me to him, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan smiled faintly. "Gee... I'd loved to, Padme, but I'm sort of short one aircraft."

"Then we'll borrow one," she answered confidently, and with that, she strode over to a nearby house and knocked on the door. Obi-Wan followed suit, realizing that this was probably the best way to get to Anakin right now.

They stood waiting for a few seconds until the door opened. At first, they didn't see anyone. Then, most abruptly, a man jumped out from behind the wall and held a rubber chicken in their faces.

"STAY AWAY, DEMONS!" he yelled ominously, shaking the chicken as if part of a voodoo ritual. "YOUR DARK MAGIC IS USELESS HERE!"

Awkward silence.

"Um, yes," Obi-Wan used the Force to wave the chicken away. "Would you be so kind as to let us borrow your starfighter? I'm willing to pay."

The man stared at him, and then scratched his nose. "How much are we talking?"

"Fifty credits," Obi-Wan offered.

The man narrowed his eyes. "One hundred."

"Sixty-five," Padme said.

"Ninety," the man haggled.

"Five," Obi-Wan said. Padme gave him a questioning look.

"Deal," the man replied.

Padme gasped with awe. The man stepped outside and led them to his landing pad. Meanwhile, she said to Obi-Wan, "I don't think I've ever met anyone so dense and absent-minded." She giggled softly in amusement.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Obviously, you haven't seen Anakin after five rounds of Correlian ale."

Padme looked up and nodded with embarrassment. "He did that at Bail Organa's birthday party last year. He spent the rest of the evening dipping his hair in the punch-bowl and throwing hors'dourves at the guests."

Obi-Wan scrunched up his nose. "Oh, yes, I remember. Wasn't he the one that pushed Bail into the water fountain?

"We had to knock him out after that one," Padme said.

They arrived on the landing pad shortly afterwards. The man pointed to his ship and said, "Lady and bearded guy, I introduce to you the _Pacific Horseshoe_. Ain't she a real looker?"

Padme and Obi-Wan halted in their tracks and gaped when they saw the old, beat-up cruiser that had 'MY CRUISER IS BETTER THAN YOURS, LANDO!' painted on the left side in large red letters. The outside looked horribly rusted and cracked as if it might fall apart right then and there, and some of the bolts were on the verge of falling out.

"Is this an antique?" Padme questioned.

"Of course not!" the man exclaimed with zeal. "She's a top of the line, Rendili StarDrive manufactured starship. Repulsorlift engine and everything."

Five bolts came out as he finished speaking. Padme gasped again.

"Okay, but is there any chance that we're signing our death certificates by boarding this vessel?" Obi-Wan asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

The man stared at them and laughed. "Sir, I've been piloting this beauty here since before the Clone Wars and she hasn't failed me yet. Her incredible speed rivals that of an X-Wing, and she outperforms the Dreadnaught Heavy Cruiser by lightyears with a hyperdrive more efficient than a lot of modern-day starships. We've been through just about every natural disaster you can think of, and even took part in the Outer Rim Seiges against the Separatists troops. Sure, she might be dented here and there, but please don't let her appearance decieve you. She may not have the exterior of a Naboo Yacht or the torque of a P-38, but she has the heart and soul, and quite frankly sir, I don't think you'll find a finer ship in the entire galaxy."

Obi-Wan and Padme stood speechless with tears glistening in their eyes.

"So?" the man asked.

"WE'LL TAKE HER!" they answered.

They'd paid the man shortly before boarding, and ten standard minutes later, Padme and Obi-Wan were strapped into their seats in the cockpit. Obi-Wan started up the ship and faced Padme.

"Okay, we're ready to go, but what about the twins?" Obi-Wan asked.

Padme smiled. "I'm sure Leia's got it under control."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"Remind me never to baby-sit you guys again," Mace muttered as he emerged from the man-hole.

"Don't worry, Master Windu," Leia answered. "You suck at it anyway."

They both stood in front of the man-hole and looked into it one last time. They wiped excess grime off themselves as they made an effort to forget the dark depths of the sewer--and all of the creatures that lurked there. All of a sudden, Leia saw something floating in the sewage-water. It looked strangely like a basketball jersey, but she passed it off as nothing. Mace found the man-hole cover lying disgarded on the asphalt and immediately began closing it. The last thing they saw was the electric-blue paint-job of Obi-Wan's speeder. Then the duo began to go back into Leia's house.

"I hope Luke hasn't done anything insane yet," said Leia with frustration.

As if right on cue, Luke appeared out of the chimney and perched on all fours at the top. Leia saw this and smacked her forehead.

"Idiot. Idiot. Idiot," she groaned.

Mace looked at Leia with a questioning gaze. "Is your brother alright in the head?"

"No," she replied with aggrivation. "Luke's got more loose screws than Wookiee's have hair."

Meanwhile, Luke looked around in awe. He could practically see all of Naboo from atop the chimney--the meadows, the waterfalls, even Theed Palace, and the sight was purely amazing. Even at night, the serene planet never ceased to look beautiful. Luke grinned. Then he realized something.

"Whoa!" he yelled with excitement. "I can see Wedge's house from here!"

Mace and Leia continued to stare at Luke.

"I can see _Wedge_ too!" Luke's grin grew wider if that was possible. "HEY WEDGE!" he called to his Corellian friend. "WAZZAP, BUDDY!"

There was a moment of silence before they heard a response, much to Mace and Leia's surprise.

"HI, LUKE!" yelled a voice that was unmistakably Wedge's. "I CAN SEE YOUR HOUSE!" Apparently, Wedge liked climbing up chimney's too. Small world, huh?

"REALLY!" Luke asked. "SWEET!"

Suddenly Luke looked down at Mace and yelled, "HEY, WENDY! I CAN SEE YOUR UNDIES!"

"I CAN SEE THEM TOO!" Wedge yelled from across town.

Mace went red and hid behind a mailbox.

"DON'T WORRY!" Luke shouted. "I WON'T TELL ANYON--" he lost his balance on the chimney and fell.

Leia gasped. "LUKE, NO!" She watched helplessly as he fell from the great height. He landed on one side of the roof, and Leia sighed in relief. Then he started sliding down the incline against the tiles until he fell off the edge of the roof, itself. He tried to use the Force to land properly, but he collided with the railings of Leia's balcony before he could do so. Despite the contact, his body kept falling until it landed in a bush with a loud rustle.

Leia immediately ran over to her brother. "Luke, are you alright!"

Luke poked his head out of the bush. "Yeah, I think so," he replied, wincing slightly. "The blueberry muffins that Mom threw out earlier broke my fall."

Leia smiled and gave her brother a small hug. "Don't you ever do that again!" she said. "You could've been seriously hurt."

Luke nodded weakly. "I'm sorry, sis." He got out of the bushes and looked up at the chimney again. Then he remembered something.

"I hafta' get back up there and say bye to Wedge!" he exclaimed. Leia scoffed. Her brother was just too persistent.

Luke tried to walk back inside, but his legs gave away with a sequence of weird sounds.

_**SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!**_

He fell on the ground and winced in pain. "LEIA, HELP! I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING!"

Five standard minutes later, Luke sat in the backseat of Mace's speeder, on his way to the healers. His broken leg was propped up on one side by Mace's lightsaber hilt. Leia sat in the front passenger-seat while Mace drove. Mace, himself, was somewhat preoccupied with the grass-skirt he was wearing to cover up his 'birthday suit.' (He had refused to borrow one of Anakin's trousers, and Luke's were too small, so it was the only other article he could wear.)

"This skirt is itchy," he said.

Leia ignored him and faced Luke. "How are you holding up?

Luke grinned. "It still hurts, but at least it's not like the time Darth Vader--"

"I'm sorry I asked."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

"STOP CALLING ME _HAYDEN_!" Anakin screamed at the fangirls. "The name is 'ANAKIN.' Say it with me: An-uh-kin."

The fangirls stared at him with dreamy eyes. "Can we call you Lorenzo?" they asked suavely.

"AAARGH!" Anakin shook with agitation. "My name isn't Scott, Sam, Clay, or Hayden, and it _definitely_ isn't LORENZO!"

"Okay, _Anakin_," a red-haired girl said. "Whatever you _desire_, my _lord_..."

Anakin shuddered.

It had been a few hours since the swarm of rabid fangirls had kidnapped him from the streets of New York and brought him to their sorority headquarters. At first, they had been gentle with him, treating him as if he was the Viceroy of Alderaan. They had pampered him like royalty, feeding him grapes while fanning him with large palm leaves. They had even cleaned up his boots, which still had faint vomit-stains from Obi-Wan, Luke, and Leia's little accident. Oh, how he had delighted in their hospitality!

Now, looking back on it, he thought they were just downright freaks and wanted to get as far away from them as humanely possible. He'd been pacing around the room for the past half hour or so, contemplating whether spending the day with his crazy son was really as bad as _this_. Sure, Luke would've probably set his tunic on fire or tackled him for no apparent reason, but honestly!

_Stupid Qui-Gon and his stupid sugar, sending me out here on this stupid quest on this stupid planet..._

He subconsciously walked up to a mirror and stood there, quietly mumbling something in Huttese. Unfortunately, during his malevolent ruminations, one of the fangirls crept up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He jumped at the sudden contact and pushed her away.

"Playing 'hard-to-get,' are we?" she asked in a seductive tone. Anakin shook his head rapidly 'no.' Nonetheless, she continued to creep up to him. Anakin tried to back away, but she grabbed his arm first. She started to lean in to him when a look of horror crossed her features.

A small gasp left her mouth as she started to backed up.

"Hey, Chelsea, what's up?" a short girl with brown hair asked.

Chelsea simply pointed to Anakin and then at the mirror. "H-he..."

"Spit it out, Chels," another girl said.

Chelsea took in sharp intakes of breath. "He doesn't have a reflection..."

Anakin's blood ran cold. He wasn't standing in front of his specially-made mirror, no. He was standing in front of a _real_ mirror, and his reflection definitely wasn't visible.

_Aw man... Being a vampire totally sucks!_

All of the fangirls whispered amongst themselves and crowded around Anakin and the mirror. They observed both closely and let out a series of loud gasps when they realized the truth.

Anakin sulked.

_Somebody up there REALLY doesn't like me..._

"What's going on?" the red-head asked. "How come you don't have a reflection?"

Anakin took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face them. "Um... because..."

The fangirls waited expectantly. "Because?"

"Because..." Anakin tried to think of something.

"Because what?"

"I don't have a reflection because..." An idea suddenly struck Anakin like Sith lightning and he grinned wickedly. "Because _your_ all DREAMING!" he exclaimed, thrusting his hands out and Force-shoving each and every fangirl against the back wall like a huge tremor. They all fell unconscious at the contact, like he'd suspected, and slid to the floor.

Afterwards, when they woke up and he wasn't there, the only thing they could assume was that it'd all been a dream. It was brilliant. Anakin beamed at his genius and smirked devilishly.

_And now for my daring escape!_

He braced himself and jumped out the window. The first two stories were great as he was just free-falling through air, but then he fell against a power line.

_**ZAAAAAAAAP!**_

He'd flown a speeder through power couplets before, but this really hurt! The electrifying energy coursed through his body and he felt as if he was being ripped apart into a million pieces from the inside. Then, just as soon as it had begun, it ended as he fell from the power lines. He landed on the concrete sidewalk below with a thud.

"Oh, Padme, help me...," he moaned for his wife. His Jedi-robes were smoldering and smoke rised up from them as if he'd just been burned alive on Mustafar. Thank the Force it wasn't that, and he'd simply gotten electrocuted instead.

He moved to get up slowly and found a swarm of people crowded around him. They were staring at them--not with concern, but they were looking at him as if he was some sort of celebrity.

"Hey," an old man said, "Aren't you that Jedi thing from _Star War--_"

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone else," Anakin answered immediately. "My name is... Earl."

He grinned sheepishly, got up, and ran away as fast he could. As he ran, he knew more than ever that he had to purchase the sugar and get out of here before it was too late...

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**A/N: (sips Kool-aid) Yup yup, you've finally reached the end of this outrageously long chapter. If you somehow managed to stay awake, I commend you and hand you a basket of fruits: (hands you a basket of fruits consisting of cantelopes and pineapples). If you fell asleep, then you're obviously not awake to read this, so don't bother (I love that song!). Yeah, anyway, I'm really excited about the next chapter, because it's the one I've been itching to type since I began this fic. I can't promise a quick update, but I _can_ promise that I will try my hardest and give into my best efforts. I just hope the Force is on my side:D Okay, so have a rockin' New Years, everybody! I think it's obvious that one of resolutions will definitely be to learn how to update faster. ;) R flames will be safely put out using Mace's cloak-- I mean a fire-extinguisher:)**

**May the Force be with you.**

**xoxoxo .Sweet-Krazy.03.**


	7. Chappy 6: Two Cars and a Jedi

**DISCLAIMER: .Sweet-KRAZY.03. doesn't own 'STAR WARS' or anything else mentioned in this fanfiction that obviously belongs to someone else, alrighty then?**

**A/n: AAHH! I HAVE UPDATED! It's unbelievable how hard it was to type this chapter up. I knew what I wanted to write, but the words just wouldn't come... Can anyone say severe writers block? In the end, I couldn't fit everything I wanted to into this chapter, and I'm not totally satisfied with it, but it's good enough. Also, as for the lack of updating... PLEASE DON'T HURT ME! I HAVE A GUITAR AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! After the first few months of typing this up, deleting it, typing this up, deleting it, I went on hiatus, so once again, if I'm losing readers and reviewers for it, I totally understand. I deserve it, ya' know? I just won't be promising any updates soon, because I'm going through a lot of changes in my life right now and whatnot. Sorry for the excuses! So in conclusion, if there are people out there (and I know there are) who want to complain about it, I understand that too, but don't email, flame, or even review me about it, because you'll just be wasting your time and mine. As for my loyal readers, or any I might have left now, I want to thank you for sticking around, and hope that you continue to do so for further installments. Also, I'll be replying to reviews using the "reply" button from now on, so look out for that, k dudes? Right, so rock out people:) (salute)**

**Anyway, here's the next installment of this freaky fic, but here's a warning for the faint of heart: WARNING! Some content in this chapter may not be suitable for those who haven't seen at least one vampire movie. Plus, it gets a bit boring toward the end in my opinion, and I haven't spell-checked or anything, so yeah... Hope ya' enjoy:)**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Chapter 6: Two Cars and Jedi**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

_**A few minutes later, somewhere still in New York City...**_

_Pain, pain, go away. Come again another day... Remind me never to fall on power lines agai---ahhhh, Force, that hurts!_

Apparently, it wasn't _that_ unusual to see an electrocuted distressed Jedi Master running/half-limping through the streets of the metropolis in search for sugar, since most people ignored Anakin as he ran by. Unfortunately, "most" only counted for about sixty-eight percent of the people, and let's just say the rest of the stragglers became a bit excited when they saw him.

"DUDE! HAYDEN'S IN COSTUME! THEY'RE MAKING ANOTHER SEQUEL!"

"CAN YOU SIGN MY CUSTOM-MADE ANAKIN SKYWALKER PROSTHETIC ARM!"

"MOMMY, IT'S THAT JEDI AGAIN!"

"Henry, I said stop pointing!"

"Anakin has an afro now?"

_What do you mean AFRO!_ Anakin stopped immediatly, causing a bunch of people to run right into him. He winced slightly as he felt a flash of pain shoot up his back, and took out the customized pocket-mirror Padme had given to him for their eleventh anniversary--that he'd never found a use for until now. Afterwards, he completely lost it when he saw his beautiful, shaggy, award-winning golden-brown locks (he'd been voted 5th place for having the most stylish mullet in the Republic) poofed out in... AN AFRO!

_Wasn't the terrible aching, chest-splitting pain enough!_

True, this had NOT happened the last time he'd encountered a few electrical shocks (namely the power couplets and Count Dooku), but his hair had been way too short then.

_Actually, it doesn't look half-bad... _Anakin concluded, studying it more. _BUT THE SCAR THROWS IT OFF! AUGHHH!_ He groaned inwardly, shoving the mirror back into his utility belt. He continued to run/half-limp again just as more interested pedestrians happened upon him.

For the past few minutes, not only had he been searching for sugar and avoiding crazed fans, but he'd been trying to use the Force to slightly heal his wounds, or at least keep them from aching so intensly.

_Since when did getting electrocuted hurt THIS much?..._

The bad news was that Anakin had never been good at healing using the Force, and he could do little in his state of slight insanity and weariness. The good news was that his vampiric abilities served as a great alternative. The even worse news, however, was that for some reason, these morbid supernatural abilities of his were not working right now, and Anakin started to panic when his body continued to throb even more.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no no no..._

He concentrated all of his power and focused on healing himself...he even groaned, but more so in pain than in effort. Eventually, he started yelling, "HEAL ME! HEEEEAAAAL MEEEEEEE!"--which recieved a few weird looks from a couple of senior citizens and caught the attention of some priests.

"HEY SHOW US YOUR LIGHTSABER MAN!" some guy asked suddenly, running up beside him.

"WILL YOU DO MY DRY-CLEANING!" a woman said.

"NO! G-GET AWAY FROM M-ME!" Anakin cried weakly, swatting them away and taking another turn, but soon his running pace started to falter, and he began to stagger as another jolt of pain erupted through his chest.

_Oh this is humiliating...the hair issue included..._

Anakin soon came to a full stop, but caught himself before he completely collapsed. His breathing was ragged, and the pain was as worse as ever.

_This is really not my--augghhh--day..._

He just might've jinxed himself by saying that, because at that moment--

"HEY IDIOT! GET THE HELL OFF THE ROAD, YA TURD!" That was followed by a series of honks, profanity and city slang which Anakin didn't completely understand.

Still, after making sure that he wouldn't fall over at any moment, he slowly looked up and took in the nature of his surroundings. That's when he realized he was currently standing--more like hunched over--in the center of a busy intersection...

"Oh no...," he rasped in horror.

With all of the pain and creepy obsessed fans, he'd barely been paying attention to where he was going, and now here he was stuck in the center of traffic, among hundreds and hundreds of angry pedestrians and drivers, under the hot, blazing, sun--

_The SUN!..._ Anakin thought with dread. He gazed up at the sky, but brought his hand to shield his eyes because sure enough, there sat the ferocious ball of gas, teasing him from atop it's palace in the clouds. No wonder his vampiric-healing-abilities were on the low; the SUN WAS OUT!

_So that's what that tingling, slightly burning sensation was... _Anakin deduced. _And the fact that I'm so calm about this is scaring me..._ He turned his attention back to the intersection and his face fell. _I've gotta' get out of here..._

Normally, he would've simply gotten out of the way before anything got out of hand, but in his weak state, his options were limited. Despite the odds, though, Anakin attempted to take a few steps forward, doing his best to look past the horrible pains shooting up his legs. It didn't help when the burning on his skin intensefied since he was almost directly under it in the open intersection.

_Stupid sun... I don't see why Padme thinks it's good... stupid flowers of hers definitely... they probably get more love than me--uh oh, _Anakin stood rigid--_DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE--_ he turned around and froze.

"GET OUTTA' THE WAY--" someone screamed

_**HOOONNKKKKKKKK!**_

"HOLY SITH!" Anakin cried

"SWERVE LEFT! SWERVE LEFT!" someone else yelled.

Two moving vehicles suddenly shot past Anakin in opposite directions, just barely grazing him on either side, but the inertia forced Anakin's body into a violent twist, and he cried out as he tripped over himself and crashed down face-first onto the hard asphalt.

"Ahhh..ahh...," he croaked as he tried to move. He tried to take in a few breaths, but his head shot up immediately when he sensed another disturbance in the Force and heard screaming coming from behind him. He groaned in agony as he turned over on his right side to see what was wrong. His eyes widened to see that it was one of the vehicles that'd nearly run over him, but now it was spinning around in dangerous circles in a blurry blue tornado as the driver had lost control.

_Ahh, no time to run from the sun now... Duty calls!_

By instinct Anakin held out his right hand to stop it when he sensed something else. He craned his neck just in time to see the other vehicle--which he recognized to be a taxi--swerve around a different burgundy vehicle, and drive straight towards a store-front.

Anakin knew now was the time to act, all aches and pains aside, yet he couldn't help but think, _Now if you had speeders, you wouldn't have problems like this..._

Everyone in the intesection watched, frozen to their thoughts, as both cars suddenly stopped as if held back by some invisible force. Both of the engines were revving like caged monsters, but none of the cars were going anywhere. One was near the center of the intersection amidst a field of circular skid-marks, and the other had stopped just a few inches short of colliding with a store-owner who momentarily let out a shrill scream and ran down the block, flailing his arms like a madman.

In the center of it all stood a tall, dark clad figure, almost ominious-looking, yet tragic in a way. His face was ashen as if he'd been through a "shocking experience," and his strange clothes were smoldering, billowing smoke into the air like he'd just walked out of a shady bar. His posture looked forced, being slightly hunched and quavering all the same from some sort of weak-spell, but his strong muscular build was not something to be overlooked. Above it all, his hair was poofed out in a frizzy sphere of burnt blond hair. Yet underneath the fascade, there was a handsome young man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties, but in reality was just a few years shy of forty. More importantly, he was the hero of the day as anyone could see, because there he stood, his face contorted in a mixture of frustration and concentration, with both of his arms outstretched, each one gesturing to one of the two rogue automobiles. Both hands trembled as he focused on holding them back from their doom, and the muscles in his jaw looked severely strained from effort.

This man was Anakin Skywalker and he was having a really bad day.

_Okay... okay..._ He thought, trying to keep himself calm and at the same time trying to keep the cars from moving. _Ha... wait till Obi-Wan hears about this... _He looked to the first vehicle and saw all the passengers sticking their head out the window, and watching him closely, _knowing_ that it was him who had saved them. The one that stood out to him the most was a young girl, maybe in her teens, with wavy brown hair and brown eyes.

_Force, she looks just like Leia!_ Anakin thought, suddenly feeling a shroud of homesickness creep into his heart. _And Leia looks just like Padme! And Padme looks just like--wait, I'm getting off track here..._

He managed to give the girl a friendly smile and she smiled back.

"Are you guys... o-okay?" Anakin stammered. _All this stuttering is going to give me a speech impairment one day..._

But the passengers all nodded, too shocked to speak.

"G-good... I-I'm just g-gonna' ch-check on the...o-others now..." Anakin said, turning to face the taxi. He clenched his jaw tightly and closed his eyes when a fierce sting shot up his neck. Apparently, the sun worked faster than he thought, and the skin on his neck had already fallen victim to the cruel star. Taking a deep gulp, Anakin slowly continued turning his head. He paused when he saw the crowd of people watching his every move.

"Uh... h-hey th-there," he said, and cracked a small smile. Everyone just stared at him.

_Tough crowd..._ Anakin thought and faced the taxi. Hopefully, they'd be as well adjusted as the passengers of the other vehicle. Unfortunately for him, the passengers of this vehicle had not figured out what was going on yet, and to say that they were freaking out would be putting it mildly.

"GEORGE! THIS CAB IS POSSESSED!" A middle-aged woman screamed. "TELL THE DRIVER TO EXORCISE THIS THING!"

Anakin wasn't exactly sure what she was talking about, but he had a pretty good idea. _And I thought our rubber-chicken-weilding neighbor was coo-koo..._

"MA'AM, PLEASE CALM DOWN AND QUIT TEARIN' UP THE SEATS!" the driver retorted. "I gotta' pay for the repairs and money don't grow on trees--and my cab is NOT possessed!"

"GEORGE, SAY SOMETHING!" the woman cried.

"What?--Oh, yeah--HEY! IF MY WIFE SAYS THIS CAB IS POSSESSED, THEN IT IS--"

"I'm tellin' you, this car ain't possessed, so why don't you take your superstitions and shove them up your--"

"E-EXCUSE M-ME!" Anakin interjected wearily. The three people in the cab looked at him with rage in their eyes. Anakin sighed and continued. "Um, w-well... I guess y-you guys a-are alr-right, but do you m-mind..."

"Mind what?" the man apparently known as George snapped.

"Mind maybe t-turning o-off your e-e-engine?" Anakin hissed as his arms began to burn from exhaustion. "...So I... Can... L-Let g-go...Cab... and y-you... won't hit st-store..."

The passengers gave him a confused look, obviously still not aware of the disaster they were avoiding on a margin.

Anakin sighed, and decided to discuss this with the members of the other car first, but while he did this, the passengers of the Taxi had other plans...

"George, I think he's lying," the woman said to her husband. "I bet he's the one behind all of this chaos, possessing this car and whatnot."

"So what does that make him?" the driver asked. "The Grim Reaper, the king of demons, the head vampire maybe?" he joked.

"Oh shut-up," she said. "You won't be laughing when he steals your soul. I say we take the first chance we get, and buy some repellants to use against him."

"That's a brilliant idea," the driver replied. "Why don't I just head over to the PathMark and purchase some 'demon-be-gone?'" And with that he broke off into a fit of laughter.

"Say what you will," the woman glared, then faced her husband. "Honey, don't we have some old colts and silver bullets at home?"

"Who am I, Dean Winchester?" George said with annoyance, but cringed when he saw the daggers his wife was glaring at him. "Er--I meant, no--" She glared harder, "--But we could borrow my uncle's!" he added, gesturing for her to calm down.

"You know, I've got things to do," the cab driver said. "So if you don't mind I'm just gonna--" He tried to open the door to get out, but the woman stopped him.

"You can't just leave! We're in this together!"

"Listen lady, I never volunteered for this freak show, so--"

But before he could finish, the woman grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back in the car as if to strangle him.

"YOU. WILL. STAY," she growled.

George watched in horror as his wife strangled the cab driver. The driver, on the other hand, proceeded to struggle and squirm as panic filled him. He tried to reach for his cellphone, but failed miserably, and so he just continued to kick and squirm.

"Jane, honey, I think that's enough," George told his wife, but by then it was too late.

No, it wasn't too late as in the cab driver was dead!

It was too late as in the cab driver had accidentally kicked the... ACCELERATION PEDAL!

This action totally caught Anakin off guard and sent his body jerking towards the taxi, and caused the other car to spin around and face him. Nearby spectators watched with terror as Anakin tried to regain control of the car, but ended up nearly flipping the taxi over.

"Krit," he cursed under his breath, as now he was forced to his energy to keep the blue car from coming forward and hitting him, and try twice as hard to keep the taxi from going off on a stray path and hitting someone else.

_I could've just gone shopping on Naboo, but NO--I just HAD to get away from the kids!_

"Alright," he rasped, avoiding the tremendous pains errupting around his shoulders and arms. Tears were now springing to his eyes, but he blinked them away, and started yelling.

"E-Everyone...Get out of t-the cars!" he barked, at this point not caring if the engines were off or not. "GET OUT OF THE CARS!"

_Get out before I turn to Dark Side or something!_

For a second, all of the passengers looked uncertain, as if they could read his thoughts, but then they all hurried out while they had the chance and ran into the large crowd that had formed around the chaotic scene by now. Everyone except, the members of the Taxi had vacated their vehicle.

_Surprise, surprise_, Anakin thought wryly.

"D-DIDN'T Y-YOU H-H-HEAR M-ME!" He yelled at them, but speaking was becoming difficult as his lips were becoming horribly parched, and the sides of his mouth started cracking.

_I need to hurry up here... I don't know how much longer I can take this..._

People in the crowd were starting to take notice, because a few of them started to point and grimace at his deformities. Anakin ignored this and spoke again. "ARE Y-YOU LIS-LISTEN-N-NING T-TO M-M-ME!" He made a weird face when he saw the woman from earlier strangling the driver.

_Just like Padme and Obi-Wan at Thanksgiving... Ahhh, Memories..._

"GET YOUR FOOT OFF THE PEDAL! YOU'RE MAKING HIM MAD!" the woman cried.

Anakin assumed that she was referring to him, and in a way, she was right. Then again, as if things weren't bad enough, the driver continued to kick and squirm, but this time, his arm hit the stick-shift control, and he bumped it from "drive" into "reverse."

_Sithspit..._ Anakin thought as he watched the taxi back-up full-speed right towards... him.

The hairs on the back of everyone's neck stood on end as they watched. A few people closed their eyes, awaiting the bloodcurling shrieks they were sure would emit from the Anakin and the passengers in the car the moment the car came in contact with his body; awaiting the skin-crawling crunch from the brutal collison. The rest watched, almost petrified, not entirely registering everything that was going on.

A few seconds passed.

No bloodcurling shriek.

No skin-crawling crunch.

No nothing.

"I Said... G-Get out of the car...," someone growled, and everyone looked to see Anakin standing between the two cars, the taxi a few mere feet in front of him, and the blue car a few feet behind him. The sweat glistened on his semi-charred face, and the look in his eyes was horrendous.

"Yeah, what the...man said," the cab driver said, taking in as much air as he could since the woman had stopped strangling him. He took the time to open the door and run into the crowd, never to be heard from again...or until he got a lawyer maybe.

"COME BACK YOU!" the woman screamed running after him.

"JANE, WAIT!" George yelled, following his wife.

And then it was just Anakin and the two cars of doom.

_Twins of doom, cars of doom... I shall take this as a sign never to buy Luke or Leia a speeder..._

And suddenly, it was quiet, almost as if the whole city had shut down to watch him with it's concrete and florescent eyes. The crowd had grown almost quadruple in size, and people were even climbing on top of the nearby cars to watch. Anakin didn't know whether he should feel flattered or annoyed, but he knew he had to deal with the cars now. His muscles were becoming stiff from tensing up, and his skin continued to burn in the hot blazing Big Apple sun. At least if it were Tattooine, he would've burned away by now, so there was a thought.

_I am really having a bad day here... Aww, gross, I can smell my burning flesh... If I don't barf, at least I'll survive with a little dignity...If I survive... But what to do with two rogue cars?...Hmmm... _

And then it came to him.

"Alright everyone...st-step b-back," he announced.

The crowd broke out in murmurs of puzzlement, but they didn't have time to think before Anakin acted. The entire intersection erupted with gasps when Anakin dropped his arms, and the two cars came at him.

And then the screams came, but they weren't Anakin's.

And then the terrifying crush came, but it wasn't the sound of the cars hitting Anakin.

People in the crowd stopped screaming and watched Anakin landed on top of the mangled remains of the two cars that had collided with each other after executing a jump with the last of his strength.

Insert another moment of silence here.

Anakin hopped down from the mess and observed his handi-work.

_Not exactly like a podrace crash, but it'll do..._

And then he collapsed from weariness with the sun burning holes in his skin--literally. For the third time that day, he was riding on the thin border between awareness and unconsciousness. He could feel the eyes of everyone watching on him as he closed his own blue ones. Everything was deathly quiet, and all that could be heard was a slight sizzling sound.

_Resisting urge to barf..._

Suddenly, the silence was broken with a single clapping. Anakin managed to open his eyes a little and he couldn't help but smile when he saw that it was the brown-haired girl that resembled Leia. It reminded him of the promise he'd made to his daughter earlier...

_"Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you..."_

_"I know Dad, I know..."_

Anakin smiled again. He intended to keep that promise.

He closed his eyes again as he slipped into unconsciousness, but not before he heard one last thing...

"HEY! THAT'S ANAKIN SKYWALKER!"

_Oh FOR THE LOVE OF--_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

_**Meanwhile at the Skywalker Place on Naboo...**_

"She's not home?" the holo of Jobal Naberrie asked.

"I thought she would be," Ruwee told his wife as he scratched his head. "Everything is really quiet."

"Ruwee, it's almost midnight," Jobal said firmly. "It didn't occur to you at all that they might be asleep?"

"Heh, with Luke in the household? I'd doubt it," Ruwee replied with a laugh. "That boy is trouble I tell you, just like his father."

Jobal gave her husband a look. "And what is that supposed to mean? Aren't you two over the whole father-son-in-law fued yet?"

"NEVER!" Ruwee yelled, scaring a few neighbors who had been taking a walk around the neighborhood.

Jobal looked slightly taken aback and stared at her husband as if he's suddenly mutated in Jar-Jar. "I don't know honey, but you've put that man through a lot ever since the day Padme brought him home. Don't you think it's about time you two called a truce?"

"Joby, he's hiding something," Ruwee said using his nick-name for her. "I can just sense it whenever he's around. Something's amiss, and the day I call a truce is the day when I know for sure what Anakin Skywalker is capable of, and that my daughter and her kids are safe!"

"He is a Jedi, you know," Jobal said, as if she hadn't heard a single thing Ruwee had said. "You sure it's not the whole Force thing you're sensing?"

Ruwee sighed and ran a hand through his greying hair. "I've looked into that, Joby, and I'd have to have Midichlorians to be able to sense that. No, no, it's something _else_." He narrowed his eyes and stared at the moon as if the single cresent held all the answers.

"You're being way too suspicious of him, Ruwee. I still can't believe you sometimes!" Jobal said with a hint of frustration in her voice.

"Well then," Ruwee said. "We'll see who believes who when I expose Anakin for the liar, murderer, and shop-lifter he is!"

Jobal stared at him again. "So you're just randomly accusing our son-in-law of things he's the farthest from committing? He's a Jedi _Master_---and I don't even want to know where you got shop-lifter from!"

Ruwee sighed again. "Honey, I don't want to argue with you about this. I'm going to go and make sure if anyone's home. If not, we can give the package to Padme tomorrow."

Jobal nodded in agreement and disconnected the comlink.

Ruwee put the device back in his pocket and walked up the steps to the Skywalker Estate. Putting a hand up to the door, he rapped on it softly a few times. Afterwards, he waited a few seconds, and decided that no one was home. Turning around, he went to walk back to his speeder in the driveway, when he started hearing some strange singing coming from the Skywalkers' private landing platform. It sounded so grim and dark that it sent shivers up and down his spine, almost as if it were a spirit. He listened close to see if he could understand.

"Switch the blue with-the-red, if that's what-chu' de-sire," the singing went, "But the blue--and-green will re-sult-in-a big-fire. So if you wan-na' sab-a-toge An-uhhh-kin's star-fighter, switch the blue with-the-red, yes, the thick red wire!"

Ruwee looked up to see who could be singing something so diabolical (not that he entirely disagreed), and gasped when he saw a translucent ghostly figure floating near the landing platform. He closed his eyes and shook his head, but when he opened his eyes again, the ghostly spirit was gone as was the singing.

"Okaaaaaay," Ruwee said to himself, convinced that it was all in his head. "I really need some sleep."

And with that, he turned around to go back to his speeder, when he tripped over something. He groaned slightly and picked up what he had tripped over. It was a thick manual-type-thing on how to customize a speeder or starfighter, but with a much more crude title.

"Hmm...," Ruwee said as he studied the cover. "I wonder if Padme knows that Luke is reading these things," Ruwee pondered with disgust before he took it with him to remember to discuss it with his daughter the following morning. "No doubt Anakin approves this..." he muttered under his breath.

He came to his speeder and was about to get in when he started hearing more strange noises. At first, he thought he was just hearing things, but then he realized that the noise sounded an awful lot like C-3PO talking. Deciding to check it out, he turned around, and once again walked up to the large estate. This time, he walked around to the back, until he came to the backyard. He gasped again as he saw that it was adorned with tombstones and thorns giving the whole area a sinister appearance; he recalled having a conversation with his granddaughter about a music video they were making for her band's new single, "Feeding on Deception," and that they would be pranking their father into being it to give it a more "realistic touch" as Leia had put it. Ruwee was behind the idea one-hundred-and-ten percent. Anything to scare Anakin was okay by him.

Walking deeper into the backyard, Ruwee saw the shape of Threepio hunched over something, prodding it as if it were some beast.

"Oh dear... Please wake up," the protocol-droid and he gave the thing on the ground a hard kick. "If the mistress sees this, she's going to have a fit!"

"If the mistress sees what, Threepio?" he asked stepping up to the droid.

Threepio looked at Ruwee and spoke with utmost happiness. "Master Ruwee! What a pleasant surprise! If I had known you would be coming, I would've fixed some tea or--"

"Threepio, who is this?" Ruwee asked, looking at the dark, masked figure sprawled over the wet grass.

"I don't know," Threepio looked down at the body. "But he has been here ever since the storm a few hours ago. I haven't told anyone yet; I'm not positive if anyone else knows of him besides you and I."

Ruwee studied the figure. "Well, apparently he's a robber because of the mask, but can you explain why he's lying unconscious in my daughter's backyard?" He looked at Threepio.

"Sorry sir, but I already told you what I know..."

"I see...," Ruwee stroked his chin in contemplation and bent down to have a closer look at the man. He frowned when he saw a trail of blood dripping from the side of the man's neck. "What do we have here..." He turned the guy's head away from them and saw that two small holes on the side of his neck, near an artery, was the source of the blood.

"This is quite odd," Threepio commented. "I've never seen anything like this before..."

"Neither have I," Ruwee agreed. He moved a hand to the guys neck to check for a pulse, but drew back when he suddenly shot up.

"MR. SKYWALKER IS NUTS!" the guy screamed. "H-H-HE--" he motioned to his neck. "H-HE'S A--"

Ruwee and Threepio both watched as the guy fell back into unconsciousness just as quickly as he'd awoken.

"Master Ani is a what?" Threepio voiced the very question that Ruwee was thinking.

"I don't know, Threepio, but I intend to find out," he answered watching the man. "Let's see who this masked-man is, shall we? And how he knows Anakin," He added as he reached a hand to remove the mask.

"I whole-heartedly agree, sir," Threepio replied while he watched Ruwee pull off the black mask.

When he finished, Ruwee couldn't believe his eyes.

"Oh no...," he said. "Oh no... Does Leia know about this?"

Threepio looked at Ruwee. "I'm sorry sir, but I do not understand. Do you recognize him?"

"Y-Yes...," Ruwee whispered. "Yes, this is my granddaughter's boyfriend... This is Han Solo..."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**A/N: Wow, was that a shocker or what? I mean, even I was shocked as I wrote it, and I had this planned for months! Anyway, last time I gave people fruitbaskets for finishing the outrageously long chapter, but most people didn't like canteloupe, so instead, for finishing this even _longer_ chapter, I offer you guys either a chocolate cake shaped like Darth Vader or a vanilla cake shaped like a Storm Trooper. Take your pick. If not, anyone for some mini-M&Ms? Feedback on this chapter appreciated! (Not feedback on the food, on the chapter!) Thank you and GOOD NIGHT! (or day depending on when you're reading this)**

**Rock out and May the Force be With You.**

**xoxoxo .Sweet-KRAZY.03.**


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